


The Ballad of a Bullet

by Anonymous



Category: Roswell (TV), Roswell - Fandom
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alien Invasion, Alternate Universe - Dark, F/M, Pretty People With Problems, Religious Themes & References, Roswell, no easy outs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-02
Updated: 2011-09-02
Packaged: 2017-10-23 08:56:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 43,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/248536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if everyone you ever knew, everyone you ever loved, thought you were crazy? What if one day you found out you weren't?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I will not be finishing this. I fell out the fandom long ago and I wanted to keep going but... It's not happening. I can't even remember where I was going with it. Sorry.

"You believe in damnation?"

 

Maxwell Evans startled at the voice, raised his head quickly and pulled out his head phones, "Excuse me?"

 

The small pale girl, virtually being swallowed by her white hospital gown, moved forward slowly and picked up the chain around his neck, "You believe in a God who would create a human being in his image only to send them to suffer for all eternity?"

 

He swallowed, trying not to stare at the thick white bandages surrounding her wrists, and pulled the crucifix from her hand gently, stuffing it back into his crisp white shirt, "I believe that God gave us free will and we'll all suffer or prosper by the decisions we make"

 

"What if we don't have a choice," she asked quietly and he found himself transfixed by the look in her liquid brown eyes.

 

"There's always a choice."

 

He watched her watch him as she slowly backed out of the room, standing only on the balls of her feet, and disappeared around the corner.

 

Thinking back on it now, that's when he'd become obsessed, the first moment he set eyes on her sickly, tired frame.

 

The first time he ever saw her tortured face.

 

Elizabeth Parker.

 

\---

 

"Do you know why you tried to hurt yourself Miss Parker?"

 

Liz chewed the side of her thumb and sighed loudly before dropping her hands into her lap, "I didn't try to hurt myself Dr. Culling. I was trying to kill myself, there's a difference."

 

He raised his eyebrows at that and started scribbling more on the yellow notepad in front of him, "Why were you trying to kill yourself then?"

 

She crossed her arms over chest and settled back into the comfy armchair she was sitting in, "Because I'm schizoid?"

 

"It's schizophrenic."

 

"Schizoid or schizophrenic they both mean crazy."

 

"You're not crazy, you're ill," he raised his face and readjusted his glasses, "Why haven't you been taking your medication?"

 

"It wasn't helping. I was still waking up in places I've never been to with no idea how I got there and they made me feel sick, they made me feel crazier if you can believe that, so I stopped."

 

He nodded absently, "Your chart says that you," he picked the file up and started reading, "hear the voice of a man telling you to find someone or the world will end by this time next year."

 

She sunk farther back into the chair, "Well when you read it out loud like that…"

 

"I know that those hallucinations seem real," he cut in, "but you know they aren't right?"

 

"Of course," she replied after a slight hesitation.

 

"And you only have auditory hallucinations and lost time right?"

 

"Those are enough aren't they," she replied under her breath as he eyed her over the rim of his glasses and started furiously writing once again.

 

"How often do you have them?"

 

"The auditory ones are pretty regular," though she hadn't had one since she'd gotten here and not wanting to jinx it, she kept quiet, "the lost time is less frequent."

 

"That's interesting," he muttered, "you're still able to experience pleasure, speak normally, no delusions correct?"

 

She nodded, waited a beat "Are you going to make me start taking my meds again?"

 

"Not yet, no," he said softly, "I want to observe you for a while. Then I'll decide what to do from there."

 

He smiled at her and looked at the clock, "Your hours up Miss Parker. I'll see you again this time the day after tomorrow?"

 

"I don't have anywhere else to be."

 

"Alright then," he replied, no longer really listening. "See you then."

 

\---

 

Liz sat on the couch in the rec room and pretended to watch _The Price is Right_ while the shaggy haired brunette orderly she'd spoken to earlier pretended to clean up the tables after lunch; he'd been wiping down the same spot for at least 10 minutes now.

 

"What's your name," she slurred slightly, the pills she'd just been given making her slightly drowsy.

 

He furtively looked from side to side before answering, "Max. What's yours?"

 

"Liz."

 

He started to blush and she realized she was staring but couldn't seem to make herself stop and was on her feet and standing next to him before she could think better of it.

 

She reached her hand out slowly; letting it flutter next to his skin, never really touching, "Your face." she said softly, more to herself than to him, "there's something..."

 

"Maxwell…"

 

Her hand retracted so quickly it was a blur and she was out of the room before who ever had walked in could finish their sentence.

 

Michael looked at his friends red face and the back of the girls, the _patients_ , head as she quickly left the room, "What was that?"

 

Max shrugged and started wiping the table again, willing his heart beat to slow down, "Nothing, we were just talking."

 

"Well don't talk. You work here and she's a patient."

 

"I know that," he replied tightly.

 

"If you ever did anything bad it would fall back on me because I recommended you…"

 

"I know," he cut in, feeling regretful that he'd taken this job at all. "I would never do anything that could jeopardize this for you."

 

He watched Michael start to soften.

 

"We were really just talking."

 

He nodded and came toward him, "I came to help you finish up so we could leave early."

 

"Oh yeah," he replied, faux enthusiasm on full display, "my date with Pam."

 

"I know," Michael said, his sympathy evident, "but I really want to go out with Maria and she wouldn't agree unless you came along with Pam. On the bright side though," he added, nudging him with an elbow and a sly look, "She's a sure thing."

 

Max grimaced, "you know I'm not…"

 

"It was just a joke," he spoke over him, "I know you don't."

 

They worked quietly until Michael broke the silence again. "How can you not though? I mean sex is…" Max watched him smile in wonder, "awesome."

 

He grinned at his friend, "it's easy, I just say to myself, 'I'm not having sex until I'm married' and then I don't have sex till I'm married. But," he replied, some wonder creeping into his own voice, "I'm sure it is amazing though."

 

"It really is."

 

"I heard you the first time," he countered with a laugh.

 

\---

 

Liz ran into the empty hall right off the T.V. room when Max and Michael exited laughing. She watched them walk down the hall then ran back into the rec room to look down onto the parking lot and watch them drive away.

 

Thinking back on it now, she should have known.

 

Known why the voices stopped.

 

Why she felt healthier in her one day there than she had

 

since she turned 13 and the voices started.

 

Should've known who he really was.

 

That beautiful dark haired orderly.

 

Maxwell Evans.


	2. Chapter 2

He watched her sometimes.

 

When he should've been fixing the beds or mopping the floor, he'd watch her with the other patients during their group sessions, when they walked the grounds, when she'd look out the window like she'd do anything to be anywhere else.

 

He'd watch her.

 

He thought about her sometimes too.

 

When he was in chemistry class, when he was driving home from school, sometimes when he was in bed at night and couldn't fight away the memory of her face. He'd clutch the crucifix beneath his shirt and pray for the strength he couldn't seem to conjure up on his own

 

Watched her then like he was watching her now.

 

It had only been a week since she'd come to the hospital but he already looked forward to seeing her every day, wondered what he would do when she eventually got released. The wind lifted up a piece of her hair and he felt the urge to ask her about last night. About how Michael had told him she had woken up screaming and needed to be drugged and tied down.

 

He wanted to ask her what happened and have her trust him enough to answer.

 

Instead, he contemplated going back into the building without alerting her to his presence but the twig beneath his left foot had different plans. She turned quickly and didn't relax when she saw it was him, stared for a moment before she turned back to the small ball of calico colored fur in front of her anyway.

 

"Hey Max."

 

He felt his heart kick up when she said his name but ignored it. He didn't need to be thinking of her in a heart racing type of way.

 

"Do the counselors know you're out here?"

 

She shook her head no and he watched her tear off a small piece of toast, today's breakfast, to feed to what he could now see was a small kitten. His training told him that she a self harmer and that he needed to get her back into the hospital, notify the guards that she finding her way out of the building and tell her counselors.

 

He moved closer to her instead.

 

She never stopped what she doing but he could see her tense a little, feel her paying close attention to him even though she was turned away.

 

"What's it's name?"

 

"Samantha."

 

"She's beautiful."

 

Liz turned toward him, finally, with a small smile. "Thank you."

 

She'd been looking a little healthier the past 4 days, a bit more color in her cheeks, a little more pep in her step but the girl before him today was the mirror image of the one he'd seen her fist day here. She looked sallow and emaciated but he just chalked it up to her bad night. Max kneeled down at her side, tried to stop looking at the profile of her face, "Are you from here?"

 

She nodded again. "Dubois."

 

"All the way out by Yellowstone," he replied before he could modulate his surprised tone. "That's practically on the other side of Wyoming."

 

She smiles a little though the upturn of her mouth is bitter. "Yeah, but I think that's why my parents liked this place."

 

He felt like maybe he should apologize but she broke the silence, "You?"

 

"Cheyenne."

 

"Big city boy."

 

He laughed, taken off guard by her sudden friendliness. "Yeah, it's home."

 

She sat Samantha down and watched her run off into some brush on the hospital grounds.

 

"Are you going to tell them?"

 

There was no inflection in her voice, no reason to believe she was worried about his answer but he knew she was anyway. He watched her for a moment, trying to decide between doing what he knew should be done and doing what he felt was right,

 

"Promise me you won't do anything stupid," he asked lowly.

 

"I swear," she turned to him quickly, the desperation in her voice obvious. "I won't do anything."

 

"Then I won't tell them but you have to be careful out here."

 

She nodded enthusiastically while smiling and he felt himself returning the gesture, realized he liked making her feel that way. "I'll walk you in."

 

\---

 

"How did you control your hallucinations without your meds?"

 

Liz released the breath she didn't realize she had been holding. She expected him to question her about the incident that occurred last night but since he didn't, she pulled her legs up onto the chair and folded them beneath her. "Doesn't that file right there answer your question?"

 

"I don't want to learn about you from a file," Dr. Culling replied.

 

She ran her hand through her hair and rolled her eyes at that, deciding to be difficult. "What was it again?"

 

He looked at her over the top of his glasses and started scribbling on his yellow legal pad.

 

"And what are you writing in there," she questioned. Her annoyance starting to seep through.

 

He sat it down and folded his hands in his lap. "Let's make a deal. You answer my question and I'll let you see."

 

She narrowed her eyes and folded her arms across her chest, "Really?"

 

"Yes, but not right now. I'll show you when I feel you're ready."

 

She sat back and sighed, trying to decide if she wanted to talk or not. With a shrug she began to speak. "I…," she squared her shoulders, sitting up taller. "When I first got…sick, I guess, I would hurt myself."

 

"Hurt yourself?"

 

"Isn't that what I just said," Liz spat out, suddenly angry that she was talking about this at all.

 

"What would you use?"

 

"Whatever was around." She responded with a nonchalance she didn't feel.

 

He nodded absently. "What was it about the cutting that helped?"

 

"The pain," she muttered. Not wanting to relive it but seeing no way around it.

 

"How did you become aware of that?"

 

She smiled uncomfortably. "My period actually, he was talking to me and I was freaking out then it started and he stopped. The thing was though," she leaned forward, "If I took pain pills the voices would come back. That's how I figured out that suffering was my savior…"

 

"Suffering was your savior," he cut in, waited a beat. "That's an interesting way to put it."

 

She leaned back again. "Well you know what I mean."

 

He didn't look as if he did but said, "Sure," anyway. "Go on."

 

She took a deep breath. "I could only hurt myself so much though, if I went too far it would lead to a blackout."

 

He nodded and she waited a moment before continuing. "Umm, I also tried drugs but when you're already hallucinating, dropping acid does _not_ help."

 

"I can imagine," he said, smiling lightly. "Go on."

 

She let out a short bark of laughter and said, "I know right," before rubbing her hand across her forehead. "I mostly use sex though."

 

"As a coping mechanism?"

 

She nodded and looked out the window. "I was with one of my friends and I started freaking out once when I was about 15. The guy I was with, Alex was his name, he was trying to help me and I kissed him and…" she shrugged, "That's when I found out sex was my savior as well."

 

"What happened with him afterwards?"

 

"Badness," she smiled even though there was nothing funny about it. "He was such a great guy but I was not in a good place. He loved me and I couldn't handle it," she sighed. "I slept around on him a lot."

 

He nodded, "Why do you think you did that?"

 

She rubbed her temple, suddenly feeling tired. "He thought love could save me."

 

"… and you wanted to show him it couldn't."

 

"No," she said quickly. "It just happened. He wasn't always there when I needed it."

 

Dr. culling nodded but the small smile said he knew better and she looked away again. "Our times almost up but I want to talk to you about personifying your hallucinations."

 

She opened her mouth, then shut it, then said, "What do you mean? I don't do that."

 

"You call the voice 'he.' I want you to work to stop doing that. It's not healthy to think of the voice you hear as a separate being," he made sure she understood before he looked down at his watch. "Your times up; I'll see you again the day after tomorrow?"

 

She stood up and went to the door, shaken by what she had shared that day and what she hadn't. "I'll see you then."

 

\---

 

Liz laid on her back in the grass out in the yard and stared straight up into the sun until all she could see were giant bursts of color. She fondled the bandages around her wrists and tried to ignore the healing itch that was begging for her to scratch.

 

"Ms. Parker?"

 

She sat up a little at the mention of her name and cupped her hand above her eyes to cut down on the glare. "Yes?"

"You have visitors."

 

With a smile, she got to her to her feet and started making her way to the visitors' center. The back of her mothers and fathers heads came into view and she stopped for a moment to smooth down her hair, straighten out her gown and take a breath before she stepped inside the cool building.

 

"Hey."

 

The two adults turned and got to their feet when they saw their daughter, pulled her into their arms and started speaking at once.

 

"How is it here…"

 

"Are you feeling better…"

 

"How's your therapist…"

 

Liz smiled and pulled away from them. "Let's sit down first okay?"

 

They looked at each other and spoke over some wavelength that only married people could tap into before each grabbed an arm and led her to the table they were seated at, them on one side and her on the other. They sat quietly and when she noticed her mother looking at the bandages on her wrists, she put her hands in her lap underneath the table.

 

"How have you guys been?"

 

"We miss you baby," her father said quietly with a genuine smile she decided to ignore.

 

"Yeah right."

 

"Liz…"

 

"It's okay," she said. "I know I've been a lot of trouble to you guys for the last couple of years. I'm sure you're enjoying the break."

 

Her mother reached across the table toward her daughter. "We just want you to get better so you can come home. The only way we would be happy with you being away is if you were going to college. We never wanted…this," she replied lowly indicating their surroundings.

 

Liz looked at her for a moment, feeling pin pricks of pain behind her eyes and reached up to grab her hand, "Mamma?"

 

Her father put his hand above hers and smiled. "Just wait Liz, this is the first step and before you know it, you'll be better. You'll be out of here and you'll get your diploma and you'll be on your way to college."

 

She looked at them and smiled and gave them the answers they wanted.

 

Yes, she was speaking to her therapist.

 

Yes, she was feeling better.

 

Yes, she thought she would be out of this place soon.

 

She hugged them and kissed them and sent them on their way with a wide grin plastered to her face. Afraid to tell them that though she wasn't hearing the voice as regularly anymore, she could still _feel_ it. Was beginning to think it was never going to leave and, the worst part, was hoping that it wouldn't. The voice, Larek, as he'd told her his name was last night, had been the one constant in her life.

 

As much as she hated him, as much as he drove her crazy as much as he made her ruin everything she touched, when she was alone in the world, he was there. When her friends began to stop speaking to her, when the town turned on her, when she listened to her parents fighting over what to do with her.

 

Larek, was there.

 

And when she didn't fight him, he would whisper softly in her ear.

 

She watched her parents retreating backs feeling empty.

 

Larek had finally said what she was supposed to do when she found _him_ …found Zan.

 

Liz wanted to tell her parents that she wasn't getting better. That the hallucinations, though they'd left her alone for about a week, were back and more involved than they'd ever been. That she didn't think that she was going to make it out the other side alive this time.

 

Instead she smiled through the tears she let them believe were from happiness.

 

Smiled and waved goodbye.


	3. Chapter 3

Max sat on the sofa in the living room and considered his options.

 

His parents, Phillip and Dianne, were pushing hard for him to go to college then medical school. He liked medicine and thought that helping to heal others would be a worthy occupation to dedicate one's life to, but something held him back from committing to it.

 

 

 _Isabel leaned over him, amazement and confusion written on her face._

 

 _"He was bleeding all over just a second ago. How did you…_

 

 

 

Max shook the memory away without even realizing its presence.

 

A teacher maybe?

 

He liked children and wouldn't mind being around them every day but that job wasn't his passion either.

 

He could go to the seminary, an idea he'd been toying with for awhile now. Fr. Johnson said every Sunday that when you felt the call to become a priest, to deny it would be tantamount to denying God himself but the thing was, Max didn't really feel called to it. He could join the clergy anyway, like it even, but that profession didn't feel like it was his mission in life.

 

That and his parents were distinctly uncomfortable with his spirituality.

 

When he turned 13 and started going to church, they thought it was a phase. Two atheists, one a psychiatrist and the other a lawyer, couldn't possibly raise a religious child when, from the day he was born, they'd taught him that faith was a crutch. That weak minded people used it to help them deal with their inevitable deaths. When they'd instilled their own values and beliefs in him from before he could talk. They thought it was a phase he would grow out of and every year that he didn't confused them more and more.

 

 _Where did he get this from?_ One would mutter under their breathe as he left to go to evening mass. _Not from us_ , the other would reply

 

"Max," his mother stuck her head around into the room and broke his train of thought.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"It's 7:30, you're going to be late for school."

 

"I thought you were making breakfast."

 

"New plan, get something on the way."

 

He smiled, recognizing the acrid scent of burnt toast drifting from the kitchen and hugged her as she smiled in surprise. Like most teenagers he'd stopped doing that around the age of eight and even though they had different ideas on just about everything, he still loved her and felt the need to let her know.

 

"You alright," she asked with a little smile.

 

"Yes. I'll see you later?"

 

She nodded and yelled bye as he exited the house and jumped into his black jeep. Normally, he would drive off without a backwards glance but this morning he hung back and looked at his home for a moment feeling the sudden need to memorize it; Every gutter, every window, how wide the porch was, how bright the white paint was.

 

He already knew all of these things like the back of his hand but something was willing him to look again, make sure he wasn't mistaken.

 

 _Something_ was shifting.

 

 

 

 _Isabel practically vibrated with unasked questions, "how did you…"_

 

" _I don't know,' he replied curtly, looking around to see if anyone else could've witnessed it. When, suddenly, he turned quickly and grabbed Isabel by the forearms, "You can't say anything about this."_

 

 _She pouted and whined, "Why?"_

 

 _The question stopped him short but he went on as if he was completely sure, "because I said so."_

 

" _But…"_

 

" _If you say anything I'll take it back."_

 

 _She narrowed her eyes, suspicious, "You can't do that."_

 

 _He wasn't sure one way or the other but he pretended he was, "I wasn't supposed to be able to do that in the first. Why wouldn't I be able to reverse it?"_

 

 _"You wouldn't."_

 

" _Try me," he replied through clenched teeth. Horrified by what happened and needing to feel in control._

 

 _There was a beat of tension filled silence, "Fine whatever," she said quickly, pulling out of his grasp and bounding into the house."_

 

 

 

He came back from the memory as winded and out of control as he'd been on that day. He had been thinking of it more and more often lately. For awhile, he'd almost convinced himself it had never happened. He would look at Isabel and see no hint of that day hidden in her features and he would think that maybe it was all a dream.

 

Moments like these reminded him that it wasn't.

 

He rubbed his face, heart beating hard in his chest, and tried to understand why he couldn't stop thinking about what happened suddenly. Why he felt like he was on the verge of losing everything he'd ever known. He thought back, tried to remember the first instant he started feeling like what happened was more than just the strange one off incident he had come to believe it had been.

 

When he had begun to see that maybe it was something more.

 

He closed his eyes, thinking hard, and sighed in frustration when he came up empty.

 

Max opened his eyes on the house before making himself turn away, feeling stupid. He was only dwelling on his past because this was his last year of high school. Soon, he would be moving away on his own, leaving his family and his friends and he was just nervous about it.

 

That's all.

 

Max smiled, shoving down the slight unease he felt and started the engine to pull out of the driveway.

 

\---

 

"Hey man," Michael said and fell into a brisk walk beside him on his way to class . "Pam keeps asking me for you."

 

Max sighed, "It's been a week. She hasn't caught on yet," he asked sullenly. Feeling a little like a cad for avoiding her instead of just speaking with her but he didn't want to hurt the girl's feelings.

 

"Guess not but you gotta talk to her because Maria's getting on me about it."

 

Max nodded, "alright."

 

"See you at work tonight?"

 

"I'm off."

 

"I'll see you tomorrow then," he said and took a right.

 

Max hesitated a moment outside of the door to his science lab class and peeked around the corner, trying to spot a large mound of blonde hair and felt like a coward when he sighed in relief at its absence.

 

He took his seat quickly and vowed to himself that he would call her directly after school.

 

\---

 

"Hey Max."

 

He started at the sudden sound of her voice and turned toward Pam as she sauntered over to him. He stuck his keys back into his pocket and leaned against the side of his jeep, waiting for her to come over. She stood in front of him for a moment and they looked at each other awkwardly before she broke her silence.

 

"Did you have fun the other night?"

 

He cleared his throat and denied the urge he felt to look away. "Yeah, you're a fun girl."

 

"That's what they tell me," she said with a smile and a flourish and he felt himself relaxing.

 

"Well you are."

 

"Why haven't you called me then?"

 

He thought for a second, trying to think of a good way to put this. "I just don't think we fit."

 

She didn't say anything, just raised her leg up onto the step on the side of his car and leaned forward, apparently to tie the strings of the boot she was wearing. He noticed then that she had on a short red stretchy dress that had risen up with her movement, exposing a large stretch of her inner thigh. His abdomen tightened and his breath quickened and his heart told him to look away but his dick told him to hold up a minute.

 

This was one of the rare moments when he followed his groin.

 

He looked at the exposed skin and imagined running the tips of his fingers along it from the thin skin at the back of her knee, to the softness of the infrequently shown inside of her thigh, to the damp heat between…

 

He cut that line of thought off before it could go any farther and looked up to see her watching him with a knowing smile. She stepped closer to him and he didn't move away, "but," and she lowered her gaze to the space between them before letting them meet his own again. "I think we were _made_ to…fit."

 

A burst of red started to crawl out of the collar of Max's shirt toward his cheeks and he took a step back then, finally looking away. "That's not what I meant."

 

She giggled a little, "I saw you looking…"

 

"I'm human."

 

"I know," she said, softening her approach. "You couldn't help yourself."

 

He took a deep breath, trying to ignore how her voice was affecting him but Pam was right, he couldn't help himself. From the time he was a kid he'd always been a touchy person, a very _tactile_ person; Always running the tips of his fingers across the back of a couch or the edge of a counter or along the fur lined hood of one of Isabel's jackets. As he'd gotten older and started going to church, he'd realized the feeling he got from giving into that particular pleasure had become almost…sexual and he'd stopped immediately.

 

The memory must have brought a look to his face because she pulled his hand toward her.

 

"You _need_ it."

 

He opened his mouth to ask how she knew but she quieted him.

 

"There's no one around."

 

He looked up then and realized that the few cars that had been in the parking lot when he'd exited the school were now gone. He started to feel a little uneasy then, she didn't notice though, just pulled his hand down the front of her dress slowly. "No one will see us."

 

He was focused on the feel of the fabric beneath his hands when she spoke and broke the spell. He pulled away, breathless and angry at himself for letting this get as far as it had gotten. He felt a little guilty when Liz's face popped into his head before shaking it away with surprise. He didn't need to be thinking of her now or ever. She had nothing to do with his sudden lack of control.

 

Did she?

 

He started to think back then. To this morning, about that day in the woods, why this desire he had to put his hands on everything he could was so strong again lately and all of it went back to that day she'd been brought to the hospital.

 

The first day he'd seen her.

 

"Hello?"

 

Max dragged himself out of his thoughts to look a very annoyed Pam.

 

"I'm sorry, I was thinking."

 

She scoffed and placed her hands on her hips. "That figures! You shouldn't be thinking! I'm throwing myself at you and you're worried about chemistry class."

 

"I wasn't thinking about chemistry. I was thinking that I shouldn't be doing this."

 

"Touching me?"

 

"Anyone," _because I won't be able to stop_ , he added silently, _because something's wrong with me, because it's not you I want to put my hands on_ he continued, feeling a little desperate.

 

She watched him for a second before smiling, "come on," she replied quietly, reaching out for him but he grabbed her hand before it could make contact.

 

"No," he said firmly and her face fell at the determination in his voice. He tried to soften it a little as he went on. "You don't have to do this you know."

 

Her face tightened up, "excuse me?"

 

"I wasn't lying when I said that I had fun that night, you're a cool person. You don't have to do this." He motioned to their current position. "This won't get people to like you."

 

Even though it was the truth he knew he wasn't the person who should be telling it to her as soon as the words left his mouth. She pulled out of his grasp, red with fury.

 

"I didn't mean it like that," he tried to correct but it was already too late.

 

"There's only one meaning I could possible take from that. You think I'm a slut!"

 

"No," he said quickly, trying to calm her down and get her to understand. "I just think you're a little aggressive when you don't have to be."

 

He reached out to try and comfort her but she pulled away, ordered, "don't touch me," before stalking back across the parking lot to her car. He started to follow her but stopped short when he realized that he was probably the last person she'd want to speak to now so he stayed and watched to make sure she got in okay before getting into his own car and driving away.

 

\---

 

Max sat straight up in bed at the sound of his phone ringing.

 

He breathed out and slumped over to check the time, 2:30 A.M. Feeling a little annoyed at being woken up he answered without looking to see who it was.

 

"This better be important."

 

"Pam is calling everyone and telling them you admitted to her that you're gay."

 

He rolled his eyes and slid down into a more comfortable position. "They've been saying that since Jr. High."

 

"That doesn't bother you?"

 

"There's nothing wrong with being gay."

 

"I know," Michael cut in, "but a lot of guys in school would be angry anyway and with what you believe…"

 

"I believe that I can make my own decisions about what's right and wrong and if the worst thing people can think up to say about me is that. Well I figure I'm pretty well off."

 

"Okay," his friend replied and Max could hear the smile in his voice. "I just wanted to give you the heads up that Mondays probably going to suck."

 

"Thanks," he murmured. "Did Maria tell you what happened" he asked, starting to nod off a little.

 

"No, Kyle called me. Remember I told you I worked tonight?"

 

The mention of their workplace focused his attention and sat up a little more. He found himself wanting to ask about Liz and almost did but decided against it. It would only make Michael suspicious of something that wasn't even happening. They were just friendly.

 

"So it's going alright?"

 

"Yeah but my lunch break is about to be over so I'll see you. Good night."

 

"Okay, goodnight," they hung up and he settled on his side slowly, feeling sleep trying to overcome him again but he fought it.

 

The thought of Liz made him think of the tentative connection he'd made between her and himself. The thought that a girl he had never met before these last two…

 

"Stop," he said out loud, finding the sound of his own voice strangely comforting as he started trying to settle in.

 

"She's just a patient, nothing more."

 

And with that, he closed his eyes and went to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

He'd tried to make himself stop but had given up even trying not to keep an eye on her by the third day. Max had been watching her for a week now. Since the incident with Pam and the hesitant connection he'd discovered between her appearance and the resurgence of his memories.

 

She'd been…furtive lately, pensive, and hyper aware. Her eyes followed every male face she came into contact with, searching every glance, every curve of every mouth looking for…something. He swept the floor slowly and looked at her standing at the window. If he hadn't been paying attention, maybe just walking past the rec-room on his way somewhere else, he might have mistaken her current position as restful. He would have squinted his eyes against the bright sun and thought the pale skinny girl with the cloud of dark hair floating around her head was contemplative, thoughtful even.

 

Max wasn't fooled though.

 

Her hands were balled into small fists, her mouth lay in a flat, tight line, her shoulders were stiff and filled with tension and if one were to come close enough, they would see her eyes. She wasn't simply gazing out into the Wyoming landscape.

 

She was searching.

 

She was always looking.

 

Always hunting.

 

He felt someone standing behind him and turned to see the suspicious face of one Michael Guerin. His friend's gaze bored into his own for a moment until he let it slide over to the object of Max's concentration. He rolled his eyes when he saw what direction Michael's look was going in, this accusation was already old and she hadn't even been a patient for a month yet.

 

"You're really making me wonder about you man," he said, slowly. Shook his head and placed a hand on the taller boys shoulder.

 

He hit it away none too gently. "What do you want?"

 

"Oh there's a scuffle on floor 3."

 

Max's eyes widened as he quickly started to make his way to the double door exit. "Why didn't you say something sooner!"

 

"It's just Sarah," he replied, moving to catch up. "She does this every week."

 

Max eyed him and Michael let out a short bark of laughter as they made their way out of the room and to the stairwell.

 

Liz never took her eyes away from the glass during the duration of their conversation and when he made his way back upstairs after 20 minutes of wrestling with a 75 year old woman, she was gone.

 

\---

 

He happened upon her again 3 hours later when he was taking the trash out the back door and stopped in his tracks. She was holding the black metal bars that circled the entirety of the grounds and he wanted to leave her alone, even moved forward to do just that, but his eyes kept sliding toward her as if pulled by hooks. He couldn't leave.

 

He watched her hands slide up the bars slowly until they were at her eye level.

 

"Fuck!"

 

She said it so lowly, he wasn't even sure if she'd said anything at all until the bars started rattling and he noticed it was because she was shaking them.

 

"Fuck," she screamed louder this time, shaking them harder, putting her body into it.

 

He dropped the bag and took a step forward, planning to put an end to whatever was happening, but a perverse side of him, the same side that kept him watching her even though he had no business, wanted to see what she was doing and the only way to know was to let this play out.

 

She let the gate go and slapped her hands over her eyes, her breathing was ragged. She was shaking and he took another step toward her before stopping again, morbidly curious. She muttered something under her breath and he watched a hard shudder rack her body in response.

 

"Where are you," she murmured. Hands slipping into her hair, beginning to get frustrated, starting to pull and he was finally able to beat back his urge to just watch her and interfered.

 

Max pulled her hands away from her hair gently, cooing nonsense softly into her ear, trying to calm her down when her lids popped open suddenly.

 

He didn't move.

 

Not to check her for injuries or to give her space and definitely not to escort her back inside as he should have done. Nope, he did none of those things, just gazed into her face until her eyes slipped down to where he grasped her.

 

He dropped her limbs then, as quickly as if he'd put his hand to a hot stove, and backed away.

 

"Are you alright Elizabeth Parker?" He used her whole name to try and keep her grounded. He was also taught to place a hand on the patients shoulder but he wasn't sure if she would welcome such a gesture.

 

She didn't respond, just kept shaking.

 

"Elizab…"

 

"I heard you the first time," she said. Cutting him off and stepping back until she could lean against the fence and seeming more like herself again but she still trembled uncontrollably.

 

"Have you been taking your medication?"

 

"Of course," she replied quickly. "There's no way I couldn't."

 

He nodded and she turned away, her eyes going back toward the empty street.

 

The only way in.

 

The only way out.

 

"What are you looking for," he blurted out suddenly, the sudden trapped feeling making him uncomfortable.

 

She whipped back around and he took an involuntary step back. "What did you say?"

 

He hadn't meant to ask that question but now that it was out there he might as well repeat it. "I asked what it is that you're looking for."

 

She moved her mouth, getting ready to reply, when he went on. "I've been noticing that you're always looking out the windows lately. Memorizing the face of every guy that comes to the hospital and I was wondering why."

 

She was going to say something biting.

 

It was in the sarcastic curve at her lip, the narrowed eyes, the annoyed posture but before she said anything the venom left her and she sagged back against the gate again. Sighed before meeting his gaze with a small smile. "Would you believe me if I said I didn't know?"

 

He thought about for a second before saying, "Not really, "with a shake of his head.

 

The weary grin she was wearing turned into a full blown smirk at that. " _He_ doesn't either."

 

"Who?"

 

But she was already looking away again.

 

He'd been dismissed but ignored it. "You're looking for Samantha then?"

 

"Who," she asked curiously.

 

"The little cat I saw you with."

 

"Oh," she said slowly. "is that what I was calling her?" He could hear the smile in her voice. "I rename her every time I see her because I forget," a beat of silence, "I've got a lot on my mind."

 

"I can imagine."

 

"No you can't," and the smile sounded more like a snarl this time.

 

"We need to go in now." He stated, ignoring her last sentence.

 

"Afraid I'm going to try and make a run for it?"

 

"I just can't leave you out here."

 

"You did last time."

 

"Well I'm not this time." There was a sharpness in his tone that he'd never had in any of their few previous conversations and that must have interested her because she turned back around and came toward him after a moment.

 

"What time is it?"

 

He looked down at the band around his left wrist. "1:30, you missed lunch."

 

She shrugged and made her way inside the building without him. He watched her back until she turned a corner and left his sight.

 

\---

 

"Tell me more about Larek."

 

Liz was really starting to regret telling Dr. Culling more about The Voice but she'd needed to talk to someone and he'd been there and…she was weak.

 

As weak as Larek had always said she was.

 

He'd hurt her if he knew she was talking about their conversations to someone else but, as far as she knew, he was still in the dark. If he even suspected something was up, he would have come back by now and they hadn't spoken since he told her about Zan. That was the funny the thing about their little relationship. He could take over her body, put his words in her mouth, make her bleed, drive her insane… but he couldn't read her thoughts.

 

Thank God for small favors.

 

"Are you listening to me Elizabeth?"

 

"Of course," she said quickly, sitting up taller. "Could you repeat it anyway though?"

 

He narrowed his eyes and started writing on her nemesis, the yellow legal pad, again.

 

"And when are you going to let me read that thing anyway? You said you would forever ago."

 

"When I feel like you're ready," he replied offhandedly.

 

"Tell me more about Zan and Larek and the end of the world."

 

He hadn't put any mocking inflection into the tone of his voice but every time he brought that up she felt herself getting smaller and smaller. "I thought you told me to stop calling them that because it allowed me to separate them from myself when, in fact, they're all just pieces of my own personality.

 

"Wow, you remembered every word," he stated with a genuine grin.

 

"I try."

 

"I know what I told you, and it's still right, I just want to try and find out why you felt you needed them."

 

She rubbed her temple. "I've never spoken to Zan. He's the man Larek has got me trying to find."

 

Dr. Culling nodded. "How do you know Zan's a guy?"

 

Liz scrunched her face in confusion, "Huh?"

 

"You just said Zan was a guy that you were looking for. How do you know he's a man?"

 

She opened and closed her mouth several times looking for the right words. "Zan sounds masculine to me," she was starting to feel a little defensive even though she didn't really understand why. "Doesn't it sound like a guys name to you?"

 

"Who's Larek?"

 

She felt like her head was spinning. "What?"

 

"Who's Larek? Where's he from?"

 

"He's the voice that speaks to me. He's from…"

 

"Where?"

 

"Outer space right," he filled in for her when she didn't answer.

 

"That's what you said when you were admitted."

 

He flipped backward through the notepad. "I hear a voice. I think he's an alien."

 

"Well," she replied softly after a moment, feeling embarrassed as she crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back into the comfortable leather of her chair. "You guys had me pretty drugged up that day."

 

"Are you saying he's not then?"

 

"I'm asking why you're being such an asshole!"

 

There was quiet for a stretch until he spoke up. "I'm being your doctor. These sessions aren't about you making wisecracks four days out of the week and every now and then discussing the reason that you're here. They're about getting you better and that'll never start until you begin talking to me about things that actually matter."

 

She stared at him. "Yeah," she squeezed her hands, "he's from outer space."

 

"Did he tell you Zan's gender?"

 

She rolled her eyes, angry that he had come up with something she had never even thought of, something that was going to set her even further back. "No."

 

"Why do you think he wouldn't tell you that?"

 

She laughed and tried to fight back the sudden burning in her eyes. "He likes to fuck with me?"

 

"Or maybe you just wanted to make this harder on yourself."

 

She didn't say anything so he went on.

 

"Did this Larek give you any description at all? Hair color? Eye color? Ethnicity?"

 

She narrowed her eyes, wondering why she hadn't thought to wonder about this before. "He told me his name," she responded, louder than she'd intended to.

 

"Well then how are you supposed to find this person? Zan could literally be anyone. He could be me. He could be you."

 

She felt herself beginning to shake again. That crazy out of control feeling that she'd had earlier was consuming her now. Burning the back of her throat and eyes, making her heart beat out of control.

 

"Do you think it's possible that you gave yourself a task that was impossible to complete?"

 

She didn't say anything, didn't even look up from her quivering hands.

 

"I'm not trying to tell you you're crazy," he leaned forward, trying to gain her trust, "you're not. These voices are real! The issue comes in when you begin to believe that their owner is external to yourself. Do you understand?"

 

When she didn't reply, he again went on. "How was your home life Liz?"

 

She sighed, happy he was changing the subject. "When this first started happening?"

 

He nodded.

 

She frowned. "I know what you're implying but it was good. No one had ever beaten me, molested me or ignored me. They love me."

 

He cracked his knuckles and looked up at the clock. "Your sessions over."

 

She stood quickly, getting ready to try and make a quick exit.

 

"I'm putting you back on an antipsychotic."

 

She turned toward him with wild eyes. "Why?"

 

"Because you're having delusions, you're apathetic and you're having auditory hallucinations. These are all signs of schizophrenia and I want to help you. These medications work, I'm putting you on Haldol."

 

"Dr…"

 

"Good night," he cut in.

 

\---

 

Liz sat on her bed later that night and concentrated on relaxing her throat as she leaned forward and the small pill slipped free.

 

Just like Larek said it would.

 

It fell into the dip of fabric between her knees and she looked down at it for a second. His instructions had been clear the last time he spoke to her.

 

 

"… _after you cough the pill up, crush it under the hell of your shoe, the leg of a piece of furniture or whatever you have available and scatter it around. The next day, maintenance will come to your room and sweep it up. Do it every day, act normal, don't mention me or anything I've told you to anyone and you'll be free before you know it. Humans are probably the most stupid of the highly evolved beings._ "

 

 

She remembered being able to feel how disgusted he was even saying the word _human._

 

 

" _They'll believe you're better because they'll want to and then we can really search for Zan."_

 

 

She came back to the present with a hard thud and thought back over the conversation she'd had with Dr. Culling; How Larek hadn't tried to help her narrow down the search even though he'd been pushing her to find this guy for four years. She wondered why she had never thought to find a way to ask him who she was looking for when that should have been her first question.

 

" _Or maybe you just wanted to make this harder on yourself…"_

 

She narrowed her eyes and thought maybe he hadn't given her a description because he didn't know. Liz looked down at the pill again and only hesitated once before putting it back into her mouth and swallowing it dry.


	5. Chapter 5

She could feel him pushing at the edges of her consciousness sometimes.

 _  
_

_Not_ him, her own thoughts or whatever the fuck Larek was impersonating. She could feel _it_ pushing against her, wanting in, but prescribed drugs did the same thing she'd been using street drugs and sex to accomplish. They kept the thoughts out. Liz walked into Dr. Cullings office with a smile and flopped down onto his chaise. "Good morning."

 

"Good morning," he replied with a smile. "Have you been experiencing any side effects?"

 

"Not since the other day."

 

"That's good news. Have you been hearing any voices?"

 

"No, but I haven't for awhile."

 

"Even before the new dosage?"

 

"Yes, but it's helping me calm down a lot."

 

He nodded and wrote something down. "Now that we've got that part of the equation solved, we can begin on sorting out this part."

 

She leaned back with a satisfied smile, "let's get to it."

 

If someone would have told her a week ago that she would be willingly taking antipsychotics and talking to her therapist about things she'd promised to never share with anyone, Liz would have thought they were the crazy one. She smiled at the thought and exited his office while looking at the stairwell that would lead her to the rec-room with disdain.

 

She had to have played every game in that room at least three times already and since it was only 11 there were only soap operas on T.V. She stood still and looked to each side of herself slyly and, when she saw the way was clear, slipped out the back entrance undetected.

 

\---

 

"I'm not sure you should be working there."

 

Max sighed into his oatmeal before looking up. "What do you mean?"

 

He watched her struggle to find the right words but offered no assistance; he already knew what she was going to say.

 

"It's just all those…unstable people. Something might happen to you that doesn't need to."

 

"Nothing's going to happen to me and _those_ people are there to get better."

 

"Yes and your presence or absence won't make a difference in their healing."

 

He rolled his eyes and looked away.

 

"I'm just telling you to think about it."

 

"You never worried before."

 

"I've always worried, I just didn't say anything."

 

He sighed, "I need this job to make money mom."

 

"Your father and I need to make money. You need to do well in school and get a scholarship."

 

"I don't want to have to beg you for money every time I want to buy something."

 

"We would give you an allowance."

 

"I don't need an allowance," he scoffed. "I'm going to keep working." She looked away and he lowered his voice.

 

"I promise everything will be alright."

 

Michael's car horn sounded from the driveway and Max stood quickly, pecking his mother on the cheek. "I'll see you tonight?"

 

She nodded absently and he ran out to meet his friend, jumping in the passenger seat.

 

"What took you so long," he grumbled.

 

"I only took a minute," Max replied with a grin. "My mom was trying to talk me into quitting."

 

"Why?"

 

Michael had recently become emancipated from his adopted father, Hank, and sometimes Max envied him his freedom though he would never give up his parents and sister. No matter how much they annoyed him.

 

"She's worried I'm going to get hurt."

 

"Oh, well that makes sense. What did you tell her?"

 

"That that's unlikely."

 

"It does happen though," he stated gently. "The guy who worked with me before you got jumped by a patient and got a concussion."

 

"Is he alright," Max asked, concerned and wondering why he hadn't been told this story sooner.

 

"He's fine, he just didn't want to have deal with any of that again. He works in some office now."

 

"Why didn't you tell me that?"

 

"I told you people get hurt sometimes!"

 

"You didn't say you knew someone who had though!"

 

"What difference does it make," he scoffed. "You needed a job and I helped get you one. Besides," he added after a moment, "if you didn't work there you may have never met Liz."

 

"Stop it," the warning, though gentle, was clear in his voice. Michael ignored it. "Come on, you've been there for over a month and she's the only patient I've ever seen you really having a conversation with."

 

"Mich…"

 

"We are in the safety of my car," he cut in. "You can tell me the truth. I know I give you shit about her but as long as you don't do anything, it's okay to think about it."

 

Max groaned, fighting between his need to talk and his desire to keep these feelings to himself.

 

"Come on" Michael coaxed, seeing his friends weakness. "Tell me."

 

"It's weird," he started, "I feel…"

 

"Oh God don't talk like that," his friend protested. "You sound like a girl."

 

"You asked!"

 

"You were supposed to talk about how hot she was or something, not how she makes you feel."

 

"But that's the thing. I feel a connection to her, or like I know her or something but I don't."

 

Michael narrowed his eyes but kept them on the road. "Are you sure?"

 

"She grew up in Dubois."

 

Michael whistled, "Very high class."

 

"I know! The closest I've been to that place is when I went camping in Yellowstone that time."

 

He nodded and Max went on, "Anyway, she just makes me feel…I don't know," he finished lamely.

 

"Well I'm just glad someone's catching your attention, even if it is a psycho."

 

Max turned on him quickly and Michael raised his free arm in supplication with an astonished laugh. "Alright, I won't talk about your girlfriend."

 

"She's not…"

 

"…Your girlfriend. I know."

 

They drove for a mile or two in silence and Max could feel his friend trying to work something out in his brain before he began to speak.

 

"Do you know what's wrong with her?"

 

"Huh?"

 

"Why she was committed."

 

He rubbed the side of his neck. "No, I never really felt like I could ask."

 

"Read her file."

 

"What," Max asked in disbelief.

 

"Stop acting so uptight, I said to read her file."

 

"How would I even be able to access that?"

 

"We have keys to every room in that building and the ones that we don't have access to, Sean does."

 

"That crack head?"

 

"I know, but I'm just saying. I could get you in if you wanted."

 

That dark part of him, the part that felt drawn to her, did want to see those files. He wanted to know everything about her, everything that had hurt her and led her to him. He wanted to know what had brought them together.

 

But he ignored it.

 

"I could never invade her privacy like that."

 

" _I_ could read it and then tell you what it says."

 

He actually considered it for a moment before shooting it down. "No, but thanks anyway."

 

"Alright, tell me if you change your mind."

 

He pulled the car into a parking space and they both jumped out.

 

"I'll see you at lunch?"

 

Max thought for a minute, "I'll see," and they parted ways.

 

\---

 

"Found what you were looking for?"

 

Liz let out a breathless shriek. "Jesus Christ Max Stop sneaking up on me!"

 

"I didn't mean to," he said with a smirk that implied otherwise. "I was just commenting. So have you?"

 

"No," she said after a moment and then laughed. "But I have found some very good drugs that make me forget what I was even looking in the first place."

 

He could tell she was making a joke but Max couldn't find it in himself to laugh. Something about her words just made him sad.

 

She cleared her throat and changed the subject. "I was trying to keep an eye out for Samantha though. I haven't seen her in a while."

 

They stopped talking and started poking around the grounds, "I hate these bushes," he muttered with an upturned lip.

 

"This place is kind of expensive. If I'm gonna pay all that money I want a lawn with greenery in the shape of spears."

 

He smiled, "I'm not sure what you just said makes actual sense."

 

"Well _you're_ being paid to be here so whatever."

 

He turned toward her, and when he saw the smile on her face, grinned back. "Then I'll keep my opinion to myself."

 

"I think that would be a good idea."

 

This was…nice. He thought, trying to keep from looking at her, or asking why she was here, or wondering if she felt as connected to him as he did to her when his eyes wandered into the street and stopped on a small, furry bundle.

 

A small tri-colored one.

 

He wasn't sure if he'd made a sound or not when he saw it but Liz was suddenly standing right next to him with a concerned look on her face.

 

"What is it?"

 

He didn't say anything, just looked down and she felt a chill of warning as she mimicked his pose and tried to follow his line of sight.

 

"She probably just ran off somewhere, let's go back in."

 

But she wasn't listening, just scanned the street until he saw her eyes light on the object of his worry. "What is that?"

 

He started and scratched the side of his head, wondering how to proceed. "I'm not…"

 

"Just answer!"

 

"I can't really see it over here."

 

"Let's go out and see."

 

He looked down at her with wide eyes. "I can't let you out off of the grounds."

 

"Well _you_ go then," she said, exasperated.

 

He started toward the gate before stopping and looking back at her. "Maybe we should just go in Liz. I'm sure she'll show up."

 

Liz took a breath. "I need you to go over there," she pointed at the object, "So you can tell me what that is." she was starting feel a little shaky, a little out of control and his hesitance in helping her was only exacerbating it. That cat was the only thing she had, the only thing that was hers to love and feed and take care of.

 

"Just go and see please," she asked, losing some steam. Her head was starting to pound, the pressure behind her eyes was starting to grow and, worse, she could feel him pushing again. Sensing weakness and trying to break through.

 

"I'm not su…"

 

"Just go check," she yelled, rubbing her temples.

 

He watched her, concerned and, maybe, starting to realize that she was just as sick as everyone else here. She didn't want him to think that about her, not when she wasn't like them, not when she was actually getting better, but she didn't have it in her to try and keep it together for him right now.

 

"All right," he replied in a placating tone. "Just try to calm down."

 

Liz leaned against the fence, trying to steady her wildly beating heart and slow her breath as he looked around and took the key from his pocket, walking forward to unlock the gate. Liz grabbed the bars and pushed herself as close them as she could get, watching him make his way over to the object in the street.

 

"Is it her?"

 

He leaned down and gingerly touched it only to rear back when a loud meow erupted from its throat.

 

"Yes and she's alive," he yelled back, sounding happy.

 

"She probably got grazed by a car but she's still breathing."

 

Liz reached her hands through the bars. "Bring her over here! Let me see her!"

 

She thought maybe it was better not to move her but by time she registered it, the words were already out of her mouth and she was already in Max's arms. He walked across the street and made his way back inside the gate, Liz grasping at him the whole time. "Let me hold her."

 

"No," he replied more sternly than what she was used to hearing from him. "Let's just lay her flat."

 

Liz didn't argue.

 

She watched him carry her to the back and lay the kitten out in the shadiest part of the yard. She sat down next to her, the tears that had only been threatening earlier were now slipping down her face.

 

"Max," she said, eyes glazing slightly at the amount of blood smeared across his uniform. "Will she be all right?"

 

He looked at her with sympathy and sat, holding her hand and saying nothing. Liz closed her eyes against what that silence meant. "No," she murmured. "You have to do something Max. You have to save her."

 

He felt useless. He couldn't hold her, he couldn't make her feel better and he couldn't save Samantha…

 _  
_

_  
_

_Isabel leaned over him, amazement and confusion written on her face._

 _"He was bleeding all over just a second ago. How did you…"_

 

 

The memory danced along the edges of his consciousness but he pushed it back, tensing up. Even if he wanted to do _that_ , he couldn't. The kittens cries were getting lower and Liz started rocking her, the tears coming faster.

 

"Do something Max," she didn't even seem to realize what she was saying but hearing it broke his heart. He leaned forward and tried to get her attention. "If you give her to me, I can borrow Michael's car and run down to a vet, see what they could do for her."

 

"I have to go with her," she said, beginning to cry harder. He moved closer, worried by her escalating negative response. He put his hand on the animal in her arms.

 

"Liz. Let me…"

 

"No," she moaned lowly, rocking harder, pulling out of his grasp.

 

He sat back, trying to think of a way to calm her down and help her at the same time without getting either of them in trouble, but he was coming up blank.

 

"Liz…"

 

"I'm not letting her go."

 

He reached out and grabbed her, remembering her reaction when he used a serious tone.

 

"Let her go Liz."

 

She shook her head hard and tried to pull away but he wouldn't let her go.

 

"Liz you have to let her go!"

 

"She's all I have I can't!"

 

He made another grab and when his hands landed on the animals blood slicked fur he felt a heat he'd only been able to conjure once before in his life.

 

Then, well…it all got crazy after that.

 

\---

 

Later, when the administration asked him what happened next, he would be truthful when he said that everything was out of control. She was screaming and crying and losing it and he was trying to help her and keep her quiet and save the kitten too if he could and then…

 

This is where he would start the lie because the truth was…

 

He felt a hard current of... _something_. Something like electricity or energy , some sort of voltage that burst from somewhere deep in his gut and zapped through his body, from the top of his head to the tips of his toes, and moved towards the pads of his fingers. He felt just like he had _that day_. The day he tried not to think about but he couldn't forget. He'd closed his eyes during the incident and when he opened them, he was shaking. From the power he'd just felt flow through him, from his anxiety, from his anticipation of what her reaction might be and Liz must have felt it as well because she'd stopped struggling and looked up at him with an expression he couldn't read.

 

"What just happened?"

 

He didn't say anything, couldn't, just pulled back enough for Samantha to start squirming and trying to free herself. Liz gasped and let her arms fall open. They both watched in horror and amazement as the same cat that had been dying in their arms a moment before ran toward and through the entrance gate covered with dirt and grime, blood and something that hadn't been there before.

 

Something silver.


	6. Chapter 6

Liz blinked as Samantha disappeared off into the distance and stared for a moment before she turned back to Max. Her mouth was suddenly dry, her heart beating out of control but she tried to beat the feelings back.

 

This was impossible.

 

She was crazy.

 

Everybody said so.

 

But then she thought back to Sam, and all that blood, and how she'd been wheezing, and there was no way she should have been able to jump up and dart away like that but she had. She'd done it after Max put his hands on her and left that silver streak of... whatever it was. After Max… _healed_ her?

 

Liz felt the tell tale prick of tears behind her eyes, the sudden weightlessness of a tentative relief in her gut but pushed it back, looking at the man in front of her with curious and knowing eyes.

 

"Max?"

 

He started shaking his head as soon as she opened her mouth. "No."

 

"Max…"

 

"Nothing happened."

 

"It didn't," she asked, voice going up an octave involuntarily.

 

He rubbed his temples and glanced around in a way she was familiar with, a way that indicated he was looking for the nearest exit.

 

She couldn't let that happen.

 

She grabbed his forearms and her wrists began to throb and itch in a way they hadn't since she'd got the bandages removed, she ignored them.

 

"You have to tell me what's going on."

 

"There's nothing!"

 

She squeezed him tighter, mouth set in a thin angry line before moving away from him, taking a different tack. She made her voice soothing and understanding, made herself calm down even though she felt like beating the truth out of him. "I already know."

 

She watched his adams apple bob and his eyes get soft with hope and she felt bad for what she'd just been thinking about him, for what she was going to have to do to him but she decided to cross that bridge when she came to it.

 

"You do?"

 

"Yes," she responded quickly, trying to keep him talking. "Of course."

 

He sighed loudly and pulled her into his arms, holding her too tightly but she didn't complain. When was the last time someone who wasn't her mother or father hugged her? She couldn't remember.

 

"I was starting to think it had all been a dream. That maybe I couldn't do that…"

 

Liz tensed up and tried to look at the side of his face he rambled on.

 

"… and I felt this, like, electricity…"

 

She narrowed her eyes as she listened to every other word and got the impression that something was wrong.

 

"Wait," she said. "How many times have you done that?"

 

"Once," he replied a little sheepishly. "I was out with my sister and there was this…"

 

She put her hand up to stop him. "Why didn't you use it more?"

 

He scratched the back of his neck and she noticed that he was rubbing her back in a circle. "I don't know how. It only ever happened once. Like I was trying to tell you earlier, I was out with my sister and there was this animal and she was freaking out and it just…happened. Kinda like today," he added with a small chuckle before pulling her close again.

 

She wondered if Larek knew this but didn't have to really have time to ponder it before he started talking again.

 

"I could feel it the first time I saw you. I felt like we were connected and I remember one of the first things you said to me was that I looked familiar to you."

 

He pushed her back a little and looked into her eyes with an intensity she wanted to look away from but couldn't.

 

"I felt it too, I just ignored it because I worked here and you were sick but I'm sure now," he said with a slow smile and she felt herself returning.

 

"Sure about what?"

 

"That we're supposed to be together. That God made us to be together."

 

"God," she asked, and he loosened his hold on her a little.

 

"Yes, God."

 

"What?"

 

"God," he said slowly. "He made us to be together. It all makes sense Liz!"

 

She sighed and touched her temple. Murmured, "whatever," under her breath dismissively.

 

"What do you mean whatever?"

 

"Nobody can do that Max. No human. They can't lay their hands on someone and make them better."

 

"Christ could."

 

She tried to stop from rolling her eyes and was somewhat successful. "So now you think you're Jesus?"

 

"No," he replied angrily. "He gave me a gift."

 

"Max this isn't a game anymore. You have to start thinking straight!"

 

"I am," he stated. "I know He gave me this."

 

"No he didn't."

 

"What are you talking about?" He looked like he was getting overwhelmed but she decided it was time to go on. Decided it was the moment to tell him who he really was. "A man named Larek has been speaking to me and he's from where you're from…I think, he doesn't really talk about that stuff with me. Anyway," she went on quickly. Cleared her throat and took a breath before going on. "You're from somewhere else."

 

"Somewhere else," he asked.

 

"Yeah."

 

"Where," and his whole voice was different than it had been earlier or any other time he had spoken to her. Except when he told her to go inside that time, he had that steel in his tone again and she started to feel a little scared. Especially with what she was about to say next.

 

"Outer space."

 

"Excuse me."

 

"Outer space," she repeated.

 

He looked at her for a second before laughing. "You expect me to believe that? What are you playing at?"

 

Liz crossed her arms over her chest offended. "You can't believe that you're an alien but it's perfectly rational to think you're Jesus. What are _you_ playing at?"

 

"I told you I didn't think that," he said, irritated, before backing away and mimicking her pose. "I was just pointing out that that's happened before." He crossed his arms over his chest, "let's say that you're right. How would you know? Are you an alien too?"

 

"No," she replied slowly.

 

"Then why would they choose you to bring me this information?"

 

"I don't know," she said quickly, feeling foolish.

 

"You don't know but you expect me to just believe it when a person in a mental hospital tells me that I'm an alien."

 

She started breathing harder. "I'm in a hospital but I shouldn't be here. I was right! I've been looking for you since I was 13 years old Zan."

 

"Zan? My name is Max."

 

"That used to be your name," she stopped and took a breath, trying to steady herself. "I know this is hard to believe but you're not Max Evans. You're Zan and you're from another planet."

 

He shook his head. "What about my family, there are ultra sounds of me when…"

 

"I don't know," she spoke over him, feeling rushed. "But that's not your family. You don't have a mother or a father or a sister, at least not the ones you're thinking of."

 

He looked at her and stood up slowly. "No."

 

"We don't have time for this Max! You have the key to the gate and we need to get out of here as soon as possible."

 

"You expect me to bring you somewhere?"

 

"We have to go!"

 

He started looking around again and she got to her feet, grabbed him desperately. "I know this all sounds crazy and spur of the moment but you have to believe me! We have to go!"

 

"No."

 

"Max?"

 

"You're telling me nothing in my life is real! That my family my faith…" he stopped and searched for the right words, "that my God…"

 

And that broke the camel's back, "your God," she broke in. "There is no God and even if there was he didn't make you! You're not even human, you're a…thing!"

 

As the words were flying from her lips, she was sorry to have said them but then she'd never been known for her self control. There was a stretch of quiet and then he pushed her away hard enough that she almost fell before getting her feet back underneath herself at the last second.

 

She looked at him and took in the empty look in his face, the thousand yard stare and knew he had made his decision and it wasn't in her favor.

 

"You're crazy!"

 

She started to cry, this was the moment she'd been working toward for four years and she'd blown it. "Zan no!"

 

"My name isn't Zan, it's Max and I have a family and I am a human being! God made me and I'm _not_ a thing!"

 

"I didn't mean that," she said, legitimately regretful. "It just came out."

 

"I'm not going anywhere with you," he said with determination and she fell on him, desperate to change his mind.

 

"You're right, you're not a thing and I'm sorry I put it that way but we have to move now Zan…"

 

"Max!"

 

"Max," she corrected. "We have to go now Max because something very horrible is going to happen very soon unless we go out there and stop it."

 

"What?"

 

"Huh?"

 

"What's going to happen unless I break you out of here?"

 

She panted, trying to think of a gentle way to break this to him quickly. "Something big."

 

"Something having to do with my 'alien status' maybe?"

 

"Yes."

 

"What?"

 

She grasped his biceps and looked up at him. "The worlds going to end."

 

He looked at her face, searching for some sign this was a joke and found none. He pinched the bridge of his nose, "Liz…"

 

"I know! We've already gone over how crazy and unbelievable this whole thing is but it's true!"

 

"It's not though," he said quietly, looking at her and feeling sad.

 

"What's going on out here?"

 

They both turned at the sound of Justin Capriati's voice and saw him and 3 other orderlies staring back at them. Max felt his heart start to beat out of control and didn't answer right away, not really sure what was going on himself.

 

"Hey Justin," he finally went with. "We're just talking."

 

"Talking huh?"

 

The man looked over the younger orderlies' and the patients' bloody clothes, the teary faces, how they were grasping one another and jumped to his own conclusions.

 

"She isn't supposed to be out here and neither are you."

 

"What are _you_ doing here," Max shot back, trying to turn the tables.

 

"My job, I heard a ruckus out here and, after I checked it out, I went and got back up."

 

"Well that was unnecessary. We're okay."

 

He ran his eyes over them one more time. "I'm going to need you to step back."

 

Max hesitated for a second before moving to follow directions and Liz grabbed him, "No," she said, feeling everything slipping away,

 

"We have to go now!"

 

"Go," one of the orderlies asked gently, moving forward slowly. "You're not going anywhere darlin'. "

 

She pushed her body closer to his, the closest it had ever been, and looked up at him trying to make him believe her in the last few seconds she might ever have. "I'm telling you the truth," she whispered.

 

One of them grabbed her then and pulled her arms behind her back trying to subdue her. Max moved forward a step before stopping. There was nothing he could do.

 

"Zan," she yelled loudly, fighting to get out of his grasp. "We have to get out here! We have to stop it!"

 

He watched her wiggle and yell until they disappeared through the double doors and all he could hear were her screams.

 

Justin walked up next to him, suspicious. "What was going out here?"

 

"I…"

 

He put up his hand up to stop him. "On second thought, tell it to the administration."

 

\---

 

"…and that's all that happened?"

 

He nodded and tried to stop bouncing his knee in nervousness.

 

"Why were you two out there alone again?"

 

"I already told you this three times," he replied annoyed. All you had to do was look at their faces to know they weren't buying it and he was tired of trying to sell it anyway.

 

"Tell us again. Please," Mr. Smith asked.

 

Max sighed and looked down into his lap. "I just happened to spot her. I was out there doing something else and there she was."

 

"What did you two talk about," Dr. Culling asked and he actually seemed slightly curious.

 

He shrugged, "Just how she was feeling and what was doing at school."

 

"Where did all the blood come from?"

 

"I told you. There was a hurt animal."

 

"And an animal that had lost that amount of blood was able to just get up and dart off?"

 

Max swallowed and said nothing.

 

"Alright then, we're going to have to dismiss you from your position but we will keep investigating what went on out there and if we have to file criminal charges we will."

 

"I swear to you nothing…"

 

"That'll be all," he said and Max could hear the finality in his tone.

 

He nodded and stood up to leave when he caught Dr. Culling's eye.

 

"Are you sure that's all that happened," he asked lowly.

 

The other administrators were too busy picking up their coats and leaving the room to notice their conversation and he considered telling him a little more of what happened. Nothing about Zan or outer space or the end of the world but…something. He seemed more open minded than the others, Max opened his mouth but shut it, deciding to stay quiet.

 

"Yes," and with that, he left the room.


	7. Chapter 7

Max covered the floor of his room in seven strides before turning and walking back again.

 

It had been a week and two days since he got fired and he couldn't stop thinking about what had happened with Liz. Wondering what was happening to her even thought he didn't want to, if they were going to file charges, if she was crazy or if he really was—

 

Max wasn't even able to finish the thought before nervous tremors began racking his body.

 

"…all right mom…"

 

He heard Iz scream down the stairs as she stepped into her room and slammed the door behind her. He stared at the wall they shared and thought, not for the first time, about going over and asking what she remembered about that day.

 

Asking her if she ever thought maybe, he wasn't human. Maybe, he was a _thing_.

 

 

" _There is no God and even if there was, he didn't make you!_

 

 

That one sentence kept him up at night, biting the edges of his fingers, pacing across his floor, wondering about what was in that file that he hadn't wanted to read. If he could get to it and see if she had been talking about this Zan or whoever and about outer space and the end of the world before she saw what he could do he would be able to get a better handle on what to do next.

 

He stopped when Isabel peeked her head around the corner of his door. "What's up jailbird."

 

"They haven't pressed charges against me," he said with a frown at his newfound nickname.

 

"Yet," she added and when his face fell she stepped in leaving the door slightly ajar and feeling a little bad. "And they won't. You didn't do anything."

 

"That doesn't mean they won't try and make an example out of me."

 

"An example of what?" She asked a little too loudly before lowering her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Tell me you weren't doing anything to that girl."

 

"Of course I wasn't," he shot back. Surprised she'd even felt the need to ask.

 

"I never thought you would but you've been acting so weird lately. At first I thought it was just about getting fired but it's something else right?" She took a step forward. "Something's really bothering you."

 

He began chewing his nail and glanced at her, trying to decide if he should bring The Incident up.

 

"What is it," she asked, voice high and worried. That concern made the decision for him and he moved to shut the door tightly.

 

"Do you remember that time we were out and what I did to that animal?"

 

Her face went blank. "Uh…why…"

 

"Just answer me please."

 

She hesitated and looked away before finally answering, "Yes. How could I forget that my brother can bring things back to life."

 

"Heal them."

 

"What?"

 

"Heal them," he corrected quietly. "I don't think I can bring dead things back."

 

"Whatever. Just tell me what this has to do with anything."

 

"Did you ever tell anyone about it," he asked. "I promise I won't get mad but I need to know."

 

"Well I thought about telling mom and dad from time to time but then I remembered you said you'd kill it if I ever did and then the memory just sort of… went to the back of my mind and the whole thing just became this sort of surreal incident. I wouldn't even know how to talk to anyone about it without them thinking I'm insane."

 

He took a deep breath but didn't say anything.

 

"What is it Max?"

 

"Liz knows," he said before he could try and stop himself.

 

"Who?"

 

"The girl they caught me with at the institution." He explained. "She knows I can heal things."

 

Iz put balled up fists on her hips. "Well how did you let that happen?"

 

"I don't know. It happened a lot like when it happened with you."

 

"What do you mean? You didn't use it on purpose?"

 

"I don't know how to. She had this pet cat, it got hurt and I just wanted her to feel better."

 

She stared at him quietly with wide eyes and whispered. "What the hell Max…"

 

"What," he asked. Somewhat taken aback by the astonished look on her face.

 

"Please don't tell me you like that nutcase."

 

His face got hard. "Don't call her that."

 

"Oh my God," she shrieked.

 

"Lower your voice!" He ordered through clenched teeth and went to check the door again.

 

"She's not well Max." Iz stated quietly as if she wasn't sure _he_ was exactly well either. "You can't perv on a girl who's crazy."

 

"I'm not _perving_ on her," he spat out. "I just feel…I don't know but believe me when I tell you I never touched her."

 

"I do," she replied after a moment, calming down. "And I don't think you need to worry about her letting the cat out of the bag." He watched as Isabel transformed from concerned sister to the girl who ruled their high school with an iron fist. "Even if she did she's sick, no one would believe her."

 

The idea of using Liz's illness against her made him feel almost as nauseous as what he was about to say next. "It's not just that."

 

"What else could it be?"

 

"She said…" he stopped and laughed, wondering if he should even go into it.

 

"She said?"

 

"She said my real name was Zan. That I was from outer space, that I wasn't really human and she had been looking for me."

 

He had expected a burst of laughter and an absolute reassurance of his humanity. He had expected her to tell him that Liz was wrong about everything and he needed to stop worrying about what had happened and move on with his life.

 

Instead she stood before him with a slack mouth and eyes filled with fear.

 

He took an involuntary step back. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

 

She didn't answer so he stepped forward again and said, "Iz," quietly, trying to touch her arm for reassurance but she flinched out from under his grasp.

 

He let his hand flutter in front of him for a moment before retracting it back to his side slowly, hurt filling every inch of him at her rejection. She must have seen it because she stepped forward then and pulled him into a fierce hug.

 

"It's not like that Max! Of course you're human, I just…this is all so crazy I was kinda freaking out."

 

He leaned into her even though he knew she wasn't telling the whole truth. "I know."

 

"I would know if you were an alien," she said. Seemingly trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to soothe him. "I mean I'm your twin, if anyone would know something like that about you it would be me right?"

 

He nodded and smiled.

 

"Okay," she with confidence, "this is all nonsense and you have to stop thinking about her and that job now. You'll get another one and be just fine."

 

He smiled and nodded.

 

She started to make her way the door slowly before turning."Promise me that you know this is all bullshit and you'll let it, _her_ , go now."

 

"I promise," he said without missing a beat and after a moment, she took a breath.

 

"I'm going out with some friends tonight. You want to come?"

 

He shook his head. "Thanks but I can't. I have to talk to Michael."

 

She nodded, said "alright then," and made her way out of the room, quietly shutting the door behind her.

 

He took a breath and went to sit on the edge of his bed by his cell. He and Michael hadn't spoken since he was fired and he knew his friend was not happy with him. That he wouldn't be very happy about the favor he was about to ask of him either but he needed his help and his pride wasn't enough to stop him from asking.

 

He picked the cell up and dialed the numbers that had become so familiar by now.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Hey Mike," he said timidly.

 

There was no reaction for a moment then a long sigh. "What do you want?"

 

"Micha…"

 

"You know they wrote me up for what you did? After three write-up's you're out no matter what and unlike you I don't have parents to fall back on if something goes wrong!"

 

"I know," he said. "I'm so sorry about getting you in trouble but you know I wouldn't ever do anything to anyone."

 

"I know that," he said tightly. "I never thought anything really bad might have actually happened out there."

 

"Good, because I would hate for you to think something like that about me."

 

"I wouldn't."

 

Max smiled a little and thought again about not asking this favor but then he remembered Iz's face when he'd tried to put his hand on her shoulder, he remembered the certainty in Liz's voice as she told him he wasn't who he thought he was and no matter how crazy it all was, he needed to know what was in her files.

 

He didn't even know what he would want them to say when he actually got his hands on them, he'd think about that later.

 

"Is that all dude cause I don't want to cut our male bonding off short but I have a shift tonight and I want to get some rest before then?"

 

"Yeah that's all," he said then quickly added, "but I need to ask you a favor."

 

There was dead silence on the line and he winced as he imagined the look on his friends face.

 

"I knew you didn't call just to say you were sorry."

 

"I did," he replied adamantly, "and I am but I need you to help me out with something."

 

"What do you want?"

 

"I need to talk to Sean."

 

"About?"

 

"…Liz's file."

 

"Man you are obsessed," he hissed into the phone, "You already got fired and got me in trouble over that girl. Let her go."

 

"I can't," he said before he could stop himself and there was another charged moment of quiet between them.

 

"Look," he finally said. "I don't what was going on between you two out there. I don't understand whatever connection it is that you say you feel with her but I know it's not good. Please let it go."

 

"I wish I could," he replied sadly, "and getting those files is the first step to doing that."

 

"What are you looking for?"

 

"I'll know when I see it."

 

Max could hear him rubbing his head in annoyance through the phone.

 

"I'll check with him."

 

"Will I be able to get them tonight," he asked excitedly.

 

"Calm the fuck down," he said sharply. "I didn't give you a date. I said I would talk to him. You don't work there anymore so it's a bit more difficult. I'll speak to him and call you back later alright?"

 

He nodded before saying, "all right," and wishing him a good sleep before hanging up.

 

It wasn't the preferred outcome but it was a good one none the less and he would hopefully be on his way to finding something out, good or bad, very soon.

 

Then a day passed.

 

Then three days.

 

Then a week.

 

Then 2 and now here he was, sitting with his jeep idling on the side of the road outside of his prior workplace waiting for either Michael or Sean to come out and give him some answers. He'd been sitting in the idling Jeep for 40 minutes when Michael walked out of the side entrance and started making his way to his car. Max jumped out and called to him through the gate.

 

He started at his sudden appearance. "Jesus Christ Maxwell," he said.

 

Max squinted at his friend in annoyance and he replied, "sorry I said His name in vain," without much conviction before standing up straighter, confused.

 

"What are you doing here?"

 

"Trying to find out what's going on with the whole records deal."

 

"I'm trying to talk him into it. He doesn't usually let outside people read them here because it's too risky to bring them out of the building."

 

"Just bring me in then."

 

He looked uncomfortable. "Max, I don't…"

 

"I promise I won't try and go see her or anything like that okay. I'll go in, photocopy them and walk out."

 

"What if someone sees you," he asked lowly and Max smiled scenting victory.

 

"The guards asleep, just like he always is and you know those security cameras are there just to scare people."

 

He licked his lips and looked back at the building making his decision. "Go sit back in your car and I'll go talk to Sean. Whatever he says I'll come and tell you."

 

Max nodded happily and watched his friend walk back into the building. His nails were only ragged remnants by now but he still chewed on them when nervous. He walked back to his car and sat in the driver seat, watching the entrance intently.

 

He was beginning to get restless after 30 minutes when Michael came back out and opened the gate, letting him into the parking lot.

 

"He said it'll cost you 75 dollars."

 

"75 dollars?"

 

"I know it's kinda steep but you don't work here anymore and he said only workers get a discount," Michael relayed, rolling his eyes.

 

"I can't use yours?"

 

"He said no."

 

Max sighed and reached into his pocket to get his wallet, pulling out the crumpled 50 he had on him and handing it to Michael. "Tell him this is all I've got now and I'll give him the other 25 later."

 

Michael nodded and locked the gate again behind them before he disappeared into the building once again. Leaving Max for another 20 minutes before coming back out, walking him back in to the building and leading him into the file room.

 

"Hurry dude," he said quickly, before disappearing back out the door.

 

Max located the cabinet marked 0-T and looked for two minutes before slipping her file free and moving to the copy machine. He didn't have time to glance at or skim over the words on the page before hand and decided to make sure to get the first couple of pages and last couple of pages. He wanted to know everything but the stuff in the middle was the least important.

 

What he really needed to know was where she had come from and where she was now.

 

About 20 minutes had gone by when Michael flew into the room ordering, "time to go" and helping gather up his papers. He would have liked some more of the file but this would have to do as he was ushered from the building quickly.

 

He stood behind Michael as he unlocked the door and shoved him out. "What's going on?"

 

"The guard actually decided to do one of his sweeps so we had to get you out of there. You have enough?"

 

He nodded.

 

"Good. I'll see you," before slipping back into the building.

  
Max climbed into the Jeep with a smile, sitting the precious papers on the seat next to him. There would be no sleep for him again tonight.


	8. Chapter 8

Max looked away from the file he held with a shaky hand. He was already aware of the attempted suicide and mental illness but her promiscuity, the extent of her self-harming, the drugs…they were all new pieces of information that, though sad, could all be explained away as the actions of a mentally ill woman but the age when all of this began…

 

He felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up at the thought.

 

Thirteen years old.

 

There had been no signs of mental illness before that, she was social, well-liked, popular, president of the science club. She had all the attributes of an overachiever until…she didn't. Until she was thirteen years old and he, Maxwell Evans: Son of Dianne and Phillip, brother of Isabelle, who was also thirteen years of age used his powers for the first time.

 

What was worse though was what was happening to her now. She had immediately been ordered to be put into solitary confinement and tranquilized after the incident. She had been wailing and screaming and her doctor, Dr. Culling, had thought it important to separate her from the population and give her time to calm down. She'd stayed there for a week and then was released only to be caught not taking her meds.

 

That led to another fight and another outburst and another stint in solitary confinement that, if these files were as up to date as they should be, she was still in. His heart cinched, his hand opened of its own volition and the papers fluttered to the floor without his notice.

 

"No," he said lowly, getting up and beginning to pace the length of his floor. He glanced at the clock, 6:32 A.M. and groaned. He had to be at school by eight and if he didn't try to get some sleep now, he wouldn't be able to rest until after three.

 

Max took a breath, made himself walk to the bed and lie down not even bothering with the covers. He wanted to stay up, think about what he had read, how it may or may not involve himself, how he might be able to try and help Liz but his eyelids were getting so heavy and it had been three days since he had sat down long enough to sleep.

 

\---

 

Max's eyes opened and then closed again against the sun streaming into his room. He groaned and thought about getting up when Iz burst in. "You better get up. It's 7:30 and..." She looked over her shoulder before lowering her voice. "If you skip again they'll call mom and the shit will hit the fan."

 

He wanted to reply but she was already yelling, "he's up," down the stairs and was gone as quickly as she'd shown up.

 

He pulled himself into a seated position slowly, trying to work the crick out of his neck. He considered changing out of the clothes he'd had on last night and had fallen asleep in but the jeans and green t-shirt, though rumpled, would have to do. Otherwise, he was going to be late. He ran a brush through his hair quickly, rolled on some deodorant and sprayed on some cologne before running downstairs and grabbing a slightly burnt piece of toast to munch on during his drive.

 

"Bye mom," he said, not stopping to hear a reply or kiss her. He ran to his jeep, jumped into the driver's seat, stuck the key in the ignition, turned it and…nothing. He repeated the sequence once, then twice and when it still didn't start, jumped out of the car and wandered back into the house grouchily.

 

"Something's up with my car, it won't start." There was a slightly whiney quality to his tone that he didn't like but couldn't control.

 

Dianne looked over shoulder then at the clock, 7:50, before dropping what she was doing and grabbing her keys. "Come on, I'll drive you," she replied breathlessly moving out the door and towards her car.

 

"Iz do you…," she started yelling back into the house.

 

She shook her head without looking up. "A friend's coming to get me. Thanks anyway."

 

Dianne smiled and blew her kiss before hurrying Max to the car.

 

"Give me your keys and I'll have it checked out while you're at school."

 

He hopped in and clicked his seatbelt into place before handing them over.

 

"Thank you for the ride," he muttered sheepishly.

 

She started the car and they rode in silence. He loved his mother but at times like these, he never really knew what to say to her. Should he mention the school he hadn't really been going to recently or the job he just got fired from, or the patient who knew his deepest secret and thought he might be the alien she had been looking for for four years.

 

"How's school been going?"

 

School it was then.

 

"Alright I guess," he replied, trying to be casual.

 

"Really?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Because I just got a call from them saying you haven't been showing up to class."

 

There was a charged moment of quiet between them when he opened his mouth to reply but she spoke over him. "I know you've been having a hard time lately and I'm willing to give you a few passes. You're a good kid and you've never caused me undue trouble but I just want to say, if there's anything you need to talk about I'm here."

 

"Mom…"

 

She put her hand up to quiet him. "That's all I'm saying. Well that and you better start making your way to school regularly again."

 

"Of course," he added, relieved that she was giving him some leeway. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and thought about telling her what was going on in his life, what was stopping him from going to class, what was making him bite his nails down to the quick but instead he questioned, "have you ever noticed anything weird about me?"

 

"What," she asked, glancing at him then looking back at the road.

 

He caught himself beginning to chew on his nail and stopped, bringing his hand to his lap. "Just anything strange while I was growing up."

 

She looked lost in thought before saying, "no, I don't think so."

 

"While I was a baby?"

 

She shook her head.

 

"While you were pregnant? Anything?"

 

She seemed like she was ready to say no again but stopped. She looked as though she suddenly remembered something long forgotten.

 

His heart kick started and he turned his whole upper body towards her.

 

"What? What is it?"

 

Then that look was gone. "Nothing. There was nothing strange."

 

"But you just looked…"

 

"Max, you and Iz were a great pregnancy and a fairly easy delivery. There was nothing noteworthy about it besides the two beautiful children I had at the end."

 

She pulled over and parked on the curb in front of the school, unbuckled her seat belt and turned to touch the side of his face gently. "What answer are you looking for? What's wrong?"

 

He took a deep breath and smiled softly, said, "nothing," as he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. He glanced at the clock, 8:15, before getting out of the car and making his way inside. He walked down the hall slowly and peeked into his first period civics class waiting until the teacher turned his back away before opening the door and trying to quietly make his way to the back of the room. He was just about to sit when Mr. Dennis turned toward him with a big smile.

 

"Mr. Maxwell Evans! It's good of you to finally show up on this glorious Friday morning how have you been?"

 

He froze in a half seated, half standing position and looked around with wide eyes, hating that he was currently the center of attention. "I've been…sick. But I'm better now."

 

"Sick huh," The older man asked, exaggerated sympathetic face in place. Mr. Dennis was in his early to mid 50's, balding and one of the few teachers who bothered to wear button downs and trousers every day.

 

He was also a major hard ass.

 

"…yes."

 

Awkward giggles began to sound around the room and he finally took the initiative to sit down.

 

"All better then?"

 

"Yes, thank you for asking."

 

"Good, cause you've got a week's detention. See me after class."

 

"What for," he asked before he could stop himself.

 

Attention switched back to him quickly in surprise, Max Evans _never_ got detention and he definitely _never_ spoke back.

 

Except now it appeared he got and did both of those things.

 

"Because you were late, and I'm adding a day onto that because I don't like your tone," he replied, taken aback by the usually quiet, put together and studious young man's outburst. Mr. Dennis took in his disheveled appearance, his suddenly erratic attendance and behavior and made a mental note to speak to the counselors about talking to him as soon as possible.

 

Just in case.

 

The requisite ooooooohhhhhhh's went up and Max apologized as he pushed his hair out of face, opened his book, and decided to keep his mouth shut.

 

\---

 

"Iz…," he called don the hall only to be cut off.

 

"You've got detention, I know. I'll tell mom to swing by and pick you up later," she said breathlessly, throwing a few books into her bag and trotting down the hall to meet up with two girlfriends. He watched them disappear out the swinging doors.

 

He turned to go up the stairs to the second floor and ran directly into someone with long tan legs, a short skirt and a tight shirt topped by a cloud of blond hair.

 

He felt his chest knot up, it was Pam Troy.

 

Her books scattered across the floor and his first thought was to run as fast as possible in whatever direction could lead him the farthest away from her but she was already glancing up at him, giving the evil eye.

 

"Well are you going to help me or what?"

 

He sighed and knelt down gingerly, trying to smile. "How have you been?"

 

She didn't say anything for a second, just gathered up her things and stuffed them back into her bag stiffly. "Fine, you?"

 

"Pretty good I guess."

 

He had wanted to catch up with her for awhile and explain what happened after their date but then everything with Liz and his job came up and it just…slipped his mind. He let his eyes wander to her downturned face and decided to just go for it. "I wanted to tell you I was sor…"

 

She stood up quickly and put her hand out palm first, not even making eye contact. "Forget it. I'm not interested," before briskly making her way down the hall and out the same double doors Iz had disappeared through.

 

He started after her but it was already 3:15 and he didn't need to get in anymore trouble by being late so he decided to put it off until later. He glanced in her direction once more before slowly making his way to room 211 and loitering outside the door only to catch sight of Michael with his head on a desk.

 

He let out the breath he wasn't aware he was holding and walked in, sitting down next to his friend.

 

"What's up?"

 

He opened a sleepy eye and smiled. "I heard you got in trouble."

 

"Yeah, you and everyone else."

 

He raised his head up and rested it on the palm of his hand, eyes still half closed and looked Max over.

 

"You look awful."

 

"Right back at ya," he sighed and continued. "You should really get a new job."

 

"Well if there was anything else that paid as much I would go but there isn't so…" he shrugged, "I'll just keep working there then being late for school and getting detention until I graduate."

 

Max looked at his sleepy countenance and tried to keep the empathy he felt for his friend off of his face. Knowing Michael, he wouldn't appreciate it.

 

"So," he said after a moment. "Did you find anything in her files?"

 

Max hesitated for a moment. "Nothing important."

 

He nodded, looking relieved. "So will you please let it go now?"

 

Max sighed and glanced out the window, imagining what Liz must be feeling locked up, drugged up and tied down in that room…

 

Then he looked back at Michael.

 

Looked at him and lied.

 

\---

 

"…so you should have it back by the end of the week." Dianne Evans looked at her son with a confused smile when he didn't answer. "Did you hear me Max?"

 

He looked at her with blood shot eyes and a forced smile. "Yeah, thanks for taking care of that for me."

 

If he was half as perceptive as he normally was, Max would've noticed the thoughtful look that crossed her face but he didn't. He opened the door and moved to step out, already thinking of his bed, when she stopped him with a touch on his shoulder.

He turned back, "yes."

 

She opened her mouth, then closed it again with a smile. "Nothing. I'll be making chicken lasagna tonight. Is that good?"

 

"That's my favorite," he replied with a smile before he got out of the car.

 

\---

 

Dianne watched her son walk inside and pulled the key out of the ignition, got out and made her way inside as well. She started toward the kitchen to start cooking when she thought better of it and made her way up to his room only to find him asleep laying horizontally across the foot of the bed. She touched his forehead, concerned about his mood changes, his sudden lack of interest in school, the constant nail biting.

 

She picked up his hands and grimaced at the mess of torn skin and bleeding cuticles before she laid it down beside him gently. Dianne considered shaking him awake and telling him what had happened that night, the night he was born, but he had been looking so tired and run down lately. She was happy to see him finally getting some rest. Dianne stood and went to the hall to grab a throw, laid it across and stared down at his prone body for a moment before making her way back downstairs.

 

No, she wouldn't tell him now, it wasn't important anyway.

 

\---

 

He wandered downstairs four hours later to see his mom at the table, picking at the lasagna with a fork in one hand and holding a book she was reading with the other. She looked up and he smiled hello before going over to the counter and cutting a piece to bring to the table.

 

"Where's dad and Iz?"

 

"Work and out with friends," she marked her page and set the novel down. "It's just you and me tonight."

 

He nodded and went to sit down to start shoveling the food into his mouth. He tried to think of the last time he'd eaten and realized he couldn't remember. Max only noticed his mother agitated state when she reached out and put her hand on his and he looked up long enough to meet her eyes.

 

"Yes?"

 

"Are you on drugs," the words fell out of her mouth quickly. "I just want you to know that your father and I love you and if you're in trouble we'll do everything possible to try and help you but you have to be honest with me first."

 

He was so shocked he didn't have time to get upset as he said flatly. "I'm not on drugs."

 

"It's just that you've been acting so out of character since you left your job."

 

"I didn't leave, I was fired and for the second time. I. Am. Not. On. Drugs," he repeated in a sharp staccato.

 

She pulled her hand back and sat up straight, "I just wanted you to know that no matter what, we would be there for you."

 

He closed his eyes, feeling like an ass for talking to her that way before opening them again and saying quietly. "I didn't mean it that way mom, I'm sorry. I know you're just worried."

 

She smiled tightly, started picking at her food again and tried to change the subject. "Is it good?"

 

He nodded and started eating again.

 

He watched her sneak peeks at the side of his face before she worked up enough courage to say whatever she had on her mind.

 

"Max?"

 

He looked up.

 

"You know how you asked me if there was anything strange about you that I could remember?"

 

He nodded again, eyes wide and curious.

 

"Well, there's something's that happened that I had completely forgotten about."

 

"Like what," he asked, trying to be casual, trying not to spook her.

 

"I was about a week and a half overdue and your dad had to go on business trip. I wasn't supposed to be traveling but I drove to New Mexico to see your grandmother. I was so scared and I just…," she looked like she struggling to describe it but he didn't help, just waited.

 

" I needed someone."

 

"That's understandable," he responded, trying to spur her on.

 

"Two days later I had to leave. Your grandma tried to talk me into staying but I wouldn't hear it. I had to be with your father when I went into labor. She wanted me to get a plan ticket but I didn't want to leave my car and she couldn't come along because of her job so I set out on my own."

 

The further she got into the story the vaguer her eyes became. The more disconnected she seemed to the present.

 

"I remember I left really late so there wouldn't be as many people on the road and I could get back here faster but something happened."

 

"What," he asked breathlessly, unconsciously leaning forward in his seat.

 

She swallowed and looked at him, "there was… a light. Not a bright one, like a spotlight or anything, more like a reflection of something shiny and I lost my breath and…I don't know."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

She shook her head, "I don't know what happened but I woke up on my back on the shoulder of the road with a lady kneeling over me. My contractions were coming fast and she drove me to the hospital. The weird thing is that when I was getting in her car the clock said it after two A.M but I remember right before I passed out that it was around 11. One of my favorite DJ's was on and he always came on at 11."

 

She ran her hand through her hair. "I was out for three hours."

 

He couldn't think about the other things she revealed tonight so he latched onto something easy. "Did the woman take you out of the car?"

 

She thought before she shook her head. "She said she found me there. I don't know when or why I got out."

 

Dianne laughed suddenly and leaned on her elbow. "There were other interesting things too. When you two were little, we had locks on the fridge and on the cabinets and oven but they would never keep you out of things. Locks on the doors too, the bedrooms, the bathrooms…we could never keep you out. At first we thought it was something we were doing wrong but Isabelle couldn't open them and neither could we when we tested them.  you always could, though."

 

He felt sick but his mother was on a roll and would not be stopped.

 

"Once, when you were around three, we found you outside walking down the middle of the road and it was like you were in a trance. We thought maybe you were a sleep walker but it never happened again."

 

She licked her lips. "I'm sorry I said nothing happened when you asked earlier but I honestly hadn't thought of those things in years and I never even told anyone about passing out in the car."

 

"Why," he asked in a monotone.

 

She shook her head, as confused as he was. "Something in me just said not to and then after awhile I just kind of…forgot."

 

She looked back at him, sitting across from her with shiny eyes. "Why are you crying? What does this mean?"

 

He smiled absently, more afraid and bewildered than he'd ever been in his life, before he whispered, "I don't know."


	9. Chapter 9

Max sat straight up in bed and looked at the clock on his side table, groggily waited for the glaring red splotch of color to reassemble its self into numbers.

 

It was 5:30 A.M and he rubbed his eyes with a sigh. He still wasn't really sleeping.

 

After what his mother told him…

 

He didn't know what it meant, but he knew it mean something… something he didn't like. After their talk he'd left her there, confused and full of questions he couldn't answer, at the table, made his way back up to his room and to Liz's file. Reading it front to back again and again, looking for something to be there that he'd missed on his first read through. Anything that might explain what she'd told him, what his mother had gone through during his and his sister's birth and found nothing. Nothing that could explain why he was capable of doing what he was.

 

After hours of going over the same paragraph, he decided to give it a rest until tomorrow and try reading them again with the kind of clear head that only rest could provide. He'd only been asleep three hours and if his current mood was any indication, he wouldn't be getting back to bed anytime soon. He looked over his shoulder at his pillow and groaned, stood up, grabbed some clothes and left his room, stopping once at the linen closet in the hall to grab a towel and made his way to the bathroom.

 

Once inside, he shut the door quietly behind him, clicked on the light, stood at the sink and took in the tired hazel eyes, the dark circles, and the down turned mouth before leaning forward and splashing his face with water. He was spinning out of control his grades were falling, he wasn't sleeping, his life was falling apart before his eyes and he had to find a way to stop it. To figure out what was happening with Liz, and everything else so he could get back on track before he lost everything he'd worked so hard for.

 

He looked back up at the mirror and ran his hand through his hair with frustration. The only way he could even begin to try and clear some of this up was by going back to the hospital and getting the rest of her file but, God knows, he didn't want to.

 

Didn't want to go back to that dank building, the place from which he'd been fired, the place that had begun to represent the beginning of his end and most of all, he didn't want to walk in and feel _her_ presence. Max didn't want to feel that small itch at the base of neck that he'd begun to associate with her nearness, he didn't want to feel it because _normal_ people wouldn't.

 

He tried to think of something, of any other way he could do this but there didn't seem to be another way out.

 

Max looked up at his reflection and nodded to himself. He needed to get all of these questions off of his mind and there were only two ways he could do that: Talk to Liz , which was out of the question, or just suck it up and go back again because he _needed_ the rest of her file. He was sure those few papers would finally prove that Liz was unstable, that she couldn't be trusted and that there was nothing wrong with him. That everything he and his mother had spoken about the previous night was a coincidence and nothing more than that.

 

Then he would be who he was again.

 

Back to the good kid who did well in school without much effort, who never got fired from jobs, he'd be a guy who could sleep through the night again and with that thought he felt his muscles relax with a smile. He caught his own eye in the mirror again and all he saw was resolve. He would go back to the hospital.

 

Go back and find out what else her papers said.

 

He smiled wider then and grabbed the neck of his shirt to pull it over his head. Pulled off his pajama bottoms and stepped into the shower ignoring the doubts growing in the back of his mind.

 

\---

 

Max walked down the steps whistling, jumping over the bottom, and ran directly into his suspicious father.

 

"Good morning" he said adding a smile and a hug.

 

"Good morning Max," the older man said back, the bagel he'd been eating almost falling out of hand at the sight of his smiling son. "What's going on?"

 

"Nothing much."

 

Philip nodded. He wanted to question him further but he was already late for work so he gave his son another hug and made his way to the door instead. "You two have a good day all right," he yelled so his daughter would hear as well.

 

"Okay," Iz answered from the kitchen.

 

The younger man nodded, "you too."

 

His father closed the door behind himself and Max stopped when he saw Iz at the stove. They hadn't really spoken since he'd told her what happened with Liz. He hesitated for a moment before plastering his smile back on.

 

"You cooked breakfast," he asked disbelievingly.

 

She turned around long enough to roll her eyes before cutting a bagel in half and tossing it in the oven. "How hard is it to toast a piece of bread?"

 

"For you?"

 

He could _feel_ her roll her eyes even though her back was turned. "Do you want a piece or no?"

 

"Both sides please."

 

She grinned and cut another one.

 

"Where's mom?"

 

She shrugged, "work I guess. She wasn't here when I got up."

 

He plopped down into a chair and smiled appreciatively when she sat his plate down and sat across from him. "You look mighty chipper this morning," she remarked with a hint of suspicion.

 

"I'm feeling good today."

 

"Why?"

 

"Just made some important decisions is all."

 

"All right," she replied, looking curious. "Like what?"

 

He looked at her and thought, not for the first time, about telling her what was going on. The truth about it was he needed someone to talk to but he didn't want her to be worried or possibly get hurt by what he was doing so he kept his mouth shut.

 

"That's my business."

 

"Sorry," she said, putting her hands up and rolling her eyes.

 

A less than comfortable quiet stretched between them before she broke it.

 

"You know," she said after a moment with a smile. "I thought you were actually going to tell me what's been up with you lately."

 

He sat up a little straighter and she eyed him warily over her bagel before looking back into her plate. "Is it about what happened at your job with that girl?"

 

He got up from the table quickly. "I would love to talk, really," he clarified at her dubious expression, "but I have some plans to make so thanks for the bagel and I'll see you later."

 

He barely heard her answer he was out the door so fast.

 

\---

 

Tracking down Sean was the hard part.

 

He called everyone from the hospital that he knew but the guy didn't have a steady address. He crashed wherever he could find a soft place to land, guest rooms, sofas, someone's floor…wherever. He picked back up his phone and struggled for a second before dialing Michael.

 

He hadn't wanted to get his friend involved with this again but now it didn't look like he had a choice.

 

"Hey Max."

 

"Hey Michael."

 

"What's up?"

 

"Well," he said slowly, wishing he had taken the time to think up something to say before calling.

 

"What?"

 

"What's Sean's number again?"

 

"You're not still obsessed with Liz are you?"

 

"I've never been obsessed with her and no I am not going there for that. I just want to give Sean the rest of his money."

 

That wasn't the truth, _at all_ , but he hoped it was a good enough lie to throw his friend off the trail.

 

The line was quiet for a moment. "Has he been bothering you about it?"

 

"No."

 

"Then why're you paying him back?"

 

"Because I owe him," he answered as if the response was obvious.

 

"Fine, whatever, hold on a second," he replied, "I'm going to give you Maria's number."

 

"Why?"

 

"He's her cousin."

 

"Are you serious?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"You ask her for me."

 

"Max…"

 

"Please Michael! You know she's been mad at me ever since that thing with Pam and I really need to speak to Sean. I wouldn't have called you if I didn't."

 

"She's mad with me about that too."

 

"But she loves you. She could take or leave me."

 

He groaned and Max moved in for the kill. "Please man, I really need to…give him this money you know."

 

"All right," he finally answered, "I'll call you back and Max," Michael stopped him before he could hang up.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"I know there's more to this than what you're saying but I'm not even going to ask."

 

"Thanks," Max answered with a sigh and a relief so deep he couldn't put a name to it. "I'll be waiting."

 

\---

 

The call came back quicker than he thought it would and Max wrote it down with a mix of anticipation and dread.

 

"Thanks man, you're really helping me out."

 

"Just don't do anything stupid alright."

 

"I won't. I just need to speak to him."

 

"Alright. I'll see you later then?"

 

"Yeah, we'll go somewhere and it's on me."

 

"It better be" he grunted as if there had never been any doubt about it and hung up without saying goodbye.

 

He shrugged Michael's usual curtness off and dialed. It rang and rang and just when he was about to hang up, someone answered quietly.

 

"Who is this?"

 

"Um hi Sean, It's Max."

 

"What do you want? You still owe me."

 

"I know. I wanted to pay you the rest of your money and ask if I could get back in there."

 

"Man…"

 

"I know," he said quickly, "it's trouble for you but I'll pay you what I owe and an extra 50 on top of the normal cost for getting me in."

 

There was an intake of breath on the other side of the line and he had the feeling that Sean was about to say no but was pleasantly surprised.

 

"Alright dude. I'll get you in but we'll have to wait until next month sometime…"

 

"It has to be tonight," he interrupted without thought and was surprised by his own gull.

 

"Tonight?"

 

"I need in there tonight Sean," he wasn't sure where this sudden urgency was coming from but he couldn't deny now that it was there at the front of his mind, spurring him forward. He'd never been a confrontational type of person, had always gone with the flow, never rocked the boat and all those other sayings but he felt different now. It was if something had taken him over.

 

He needed to get in that building, he needed to get in tonight and he would do whatever he had to too make sure that happened.

 

"I'm not sure…"

 

"It's now or never Sean, I need to get In there and I have 150 dollars for you if you can help me."

 

He heard a sigh. "Meet me on the side of the building at midnight, wear your old uniform and be there on time or I'm leaving."

 

He narrowed his eyes and wanted to question about the uniform but shrugged instead, if he wanted him to wear it, it must be for a reason.

 

Max smiled to himself. "I'll be there."

 

\---

 

Getting inside the building was as easy it had been the first time.

 

He'd gotten to the hospital 20 minutes early and waited to see Sean's figure lurking on the side of the building. He got him inside the gate and there were the same broken security cameras, the same exit door that didn't lock. He looked to side once they were in the building looking for their sleeping guard only to see an empty desk.

 

He motioned to it. "Where is he?"

 

"Gone, they hired a guy who actually does his rounds and stays awake this time."

 

Sean grabbed his uniform shirt and let it go quickly at his surprised look. "That's why I told you to wear this and that's why I can't let people in here anymore after this Max. This guy's talking about revamping the security…" he shook his head. "To tell you the truth, I'll probably be out of here soon. I don't like people micro managing me you know.'

 

Max nodded ready to move on and they went to the file room quickly. "You have twenty minutes. Greg will be passing by this floor so you need to be on the lookout for him. If he finds you here, I can't save you and if you're caught…"

 

"I don't know you. I got it," he replied and moved to the file cabinets.

 

"Good luck then," he said, knowing the conversation was over and slipped out of the room.

 

Max opened the drawer and got to work.

 

\---

 

He almost heard the footsteps too late.

 

He had finished copying the file and was exiting the room when he heard him, Greg, and turned fast enough to see the bob and weave of his flashlight from around the far corner.

 

He stopped breathing, shoved the papers in the waist band of his uniform and put his back flat against the wall. He stopped thinking as the man moved closer. Max slowly slinked along the wall trying to move but not grab the other mans attention and when Greg stopped abruptly Max did too.

 

"Is someone there?'

 

The slight uptick in his heartbeat was a full-blown drumbeat now. He ran his hands along the wall to either side of his prone body and felt a doorknob on both sides. He, once again, had two choices: Turn one of the knobs and risk it being locked or Greg hearing him or stand still and risk Greg walking up on him.

 

He watched the man's flashlight as it moved closer and tensed, ready to be discovered, when something inside of him, that same _something_ that knew he had to come here tonight, probably the same something that made his mother forget, made him reach for the knob on his right side blindly. Max never took his eyes away from the shadow of the man that stood between him and leaving this building free or in handcuffs as he turned the knob slowly and almost fainted in relief when it began to open.

 

He kept his eyes on the guard as he moved toward the door and moved inside the room, covertly closing the door behind him with an exhale. He listened at the door for a moment, trying to hear if he was coming closer when there was a low moan behind him.

 

He knew then where following something inside of him had led even though Max hadn't turned to look at the person behind him yet. He knew that his choice to come in here wasn't thoughtless, or a happy coincidence or random at all.

 

He didn't want to but Max began to turn toward her slowly, seriously thought about running back out into the hall when his suspicions were confirmed.

 

There she was, the origin of all his problems.

 

Liz was strapped down to the bed behind him and in that instant he seriously didn't care about what could happen if he ran out. Damn the guard, damn jail damn his record; she seemed more of a threat to him in that moment than any of those things put together and that's when he noticed it again.

 

That awareness of her.

 

That little tickle on the back of his neck that he had started to feel lately. That little tightness that alerted him to her existence. That pulled him to her. She was looking up then, with glassy, drugged eyes that were also, somehow, full of awareness.

 

"Max?"

 

"I didn't know you'd be in here," he said dumbly. "I just…"

 

Max trailed off and she smiled, leaned her head to the side as she slurred. "Your feet have been leading you to me since the day we met."

 

He shook his head but moved closer despite himself. "That can't be…"

 

Liz met his eyes then with spacey determination. "You know that's not true. Now what are you going to do about it?"


	10. Chapter 10

He stared at her, opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water before shaking his head. "Nothing, I'm not going to do anything about it."

 

She swallowed in response, eyes fluttering, as she tugged on her bonds. "Zan…"

 

"My name is…," he started to correct without much venom before stopping. She barely looked like she knew where she was, he didn't have it in him to fight about that right now.

 

"You came back…"

 

He stared at her wordlessly for a moment and sighed at the hopeful look on her face. "Liz," he tried to say quickly but she cut in.

 

"Please hurry," she begged. "We have to leave now."

 

Max screwed his eyes shut and licked his lips. He couldn't look at her and say what he was about to at the same time.

 

"No Liz."

 

He listened as she doubled her struggles against her bonds.

 

"What," she asked, obviously confused. "But you came back!"

 _  
_

_So I could snoop through your records._

 

Max shook his head and put his hand against the papers at his back. He decided the best response was to deflect. He couldn't tell her why he was really here, she'd hate him.

 

"I'm sorry Liz but I have to go."

 

"No," she begged and tried to sit up. "Don't leave me!"

 

He knew he should ignore her. That he should leave the room and never come back but the one thing he'd never been able to do was ignore Liz. No matter how hard he'd tried.

 

"I can't help you," he whispered lowly.

 

"Yes you can," she replied lowly. "You have no idea what you can do…"

 

Something in her voice made the hair on the back of his neck stand up and he finally made eye contact.

 

"I _can't_ Liz."

 

"Stop saying that," she ordered emphatically, pulled on her bonds again and he stepped closer. Not able to fight the worry he felt over her possibly re-injuring herself.

 

"Stop it."

 

His voice just seemed to spur her aggravation on and he moved closer again, finally reached out and put his hand against her shoulder. She looked up at him, eyes vague with whatever they'd pumped her full of and he tried to school his face into blankness.

 

"If you don't stop you'll hurt yourself."

 

They'd finally removed the bandages at her wrists and he let his hand drop down. Max ran his thumb along the pink, new skin of her scar. He'd hoped for something light, a mark that was more a cry for help than an actual suicide attempt but he wasn't really surprised by the deep slashes he found instead. Max traced the wounds edges, followed the same trail she'd dragged a blade along less than two months prior and wished he could heal her. That he could take the reminders of what she'd done away and he felt himself falling into that space. That space he went when they were in the courtyard and he felt like he was capable of anything as long as it made her feel better.

 

Then he thought that, if she was right, if he could do this and he was who she said he was. He'd be able to make her better.

 

He concentrated and the fledgling heat gathering in his belly as it spiraled tighter and tighter, stole the breath from his lungs and he closed his eyes in preparation. Just when he felt it beginning to burn beneath his palms…it died. Max no longer felt those electric pulses just beneath his skin. He dropped her hand then and looked up into her eyes. She didn't seem to realize what he'd been trying to do.

 

"You have to help me!"

 

"I can't Liz! I can't even…," he let the admission trail off and turned his back. "I don't even believe what you're telling me but if it is true…," he shook his head. "I couldn't help you because I can't control it."

 

"Not yet," she said frantically. "But Larek—"

 

"Shhh," he cut her off and moved closer to the door, listened to what sounded like Greg's feet getting closer. "You have to be quiet Liz."

 

She squeezed her eyes shut and groaned, muttered, "Max listen," too loudly in the quiet building and he felt his stomach fall when the guard's steps hesitated outside the door. He was listening.

 

"Max," she called again, even louder this time and he turned toward her but didn't try to quiet her or move. He just watched the door intently, unconsciously balled his hand into a fist when the knob began to turn slowly. He'd thought he was willing to do anything to get away from her a moment earlier but his desperation to get away had morphed into a desperation not to be caught. If Greg came into this room— no matter how much Max would have preferred to avoid it— there would be a fight.

 

He watched the knob spin slowly before it stopped short. Greg tried it twice more before letting go and lumbering off down the hall. It was locked. Max laughed, he must have locked it behind himself without realizing. He forced himself to relax and opened his sweaty palms, took a relieved breath. He'd almost been discovered and only God knew what would happen to him if he was caught with her alone again, especially since he didn't even work here anymore. Max let out a short bark of laughter at his good fortune when Liz made a distressed sound and he came crashing back to Earth.

 

Even if he'd avoided detection once, there was quite a distance between this room and the front door. He wasn't a 100% sure he could make it there on his own, let alone with a drugged up patient hanging off of his side. He swallowed and looked back over his shoulder at Liz.

 

"Come on now Max. Help me get out of these things," she asked, her voice was strangely high as if she already knew what he was about to say.

 

"Liz I—"

 

"No," she moaned, drawing the word out long and low. "This has to happen now. We may never get another chance!"

 

"I'm not who you think I am," he responded lowly.

 

"Yes you are! I know it's hard but you have to believe that—"

 

"What?" He asked in a fierce whisper. Suddenly angry with her for putting him in this position. "That I'm an alien and that you're not crazy."

 

"Yes," she answered matter of factly and he shook his head, face empty but set.

 

"I'm sorry but I can't do that."

 

"No," she said with force as if hearing the conviction in her voice would change his mind. "This isn't what's supposed to happen."

 

"I'm sorry Liz," he replied lowly, feeling scared and sad and terrible about hurting her even if he knew it was for the best. "I don't believe you."

 

"But you've used your powers! You've seen what you're capable of!"

 

"Those were just one-off's Liz. God—"

 

"Stop, _please_ ," she groaned out like she was sick and he took a step closer.

 

"Liz?"

 

When she didn't answer he took another step forward. "Liz, you'll be all right. The doctors will take care of you and by this time next year you won't even remember me."

 

He ignored the pang his own words caused him. It would be better that way. It had to be.

 

She raised her face to look at him then and her eyes were clear. "By this time next year, none of us will be here!"

 

Then, just as quickly as it appeared, that lucidity vanished and her face became soft and clear as a child's. "We were supposed to save the world, Max."

 

He backed away until he hit the door and swallowed whatever was rising inside of him. "I'm sorry, Liz."

 

Then he spun around, turned the knob and disappeared out the door as quickly as he could while still moving slowly enough to be inconspicuous. He was halfway down the next corridor when a memory stopped in his tracks.

 

The door. He hadn't unlocked it to get out.

 

Max turned toward the hallway he'd just come from and tried to tell himself that he had unlocked it. That he just didn't remember in his haste to get out of there and that he should just keep moving but he couldn't.

 _  
_

_  
_

_You have no idea what you can do…_

 _When you two were little, we had locks on the fridge and on the cabinets and oven but they would never keep you out of things…_

 

 

Their words fluttered through his mind before he could make them stop, then continued on a loop. He raised his hand to his face and worried the nail on his thumb. It couldn't be, it was insanity to even be considering it but the more he thought about what Liz said the less absurd it seemed.

 _  
_

_  
_

_We were supposed to save the world, Max._

 

 

He was turning around before he could even question what his decision would mean and was walking back down the hall before he could talk himself out of it. He'd known. He'd known from the moment he first met Liz that there was something different about her. Something that connected them together and he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he left her here. He wouldn't be able to go on without knowing that he'd tried everything in his power to help her.

 

Even if that meant breaking the law.

 

Max walked faster now that he'd set a course for himself, turned the corner to the hallway outside of her room and walked directly into Justin Capriati. They didn't react at first, just stared at one another blank faced, completely shocked by the others presence.

 

"What are you doing here," the other man was finally able to sputter.

 

Many possible responses flitted through Max's mind but none passed through his lips. He could feel himself begin to shake. He'd been so close, so close to going back, so close to taking her in his arms and just _disappearing_.

 

Max frowned at the man standing in front of him. Justin was always getting in his way.

 

"I'll ask again," the orderly stated in a staccato voice, suddenly authoritative and confident as he had been that day out in the yard, the day everything had gone sideways and had yet to right itself back. Or maybe it had happened long before that. Maybe it happened on that day in the woods with Iz. The day he healed something for the first time and Liz went insane.

 

"What. Are. You. Doing. Here?"

 

Justin's voice startled him from his memories and Max thought fast. He hated to lie, and he wasn't even very good at it, but it wouldn't do anyone any good if he got carted off tonight. He'd never be able to get back in this building then and Liz...

 

The thought of leaving her here made the choice easy.

 

"I was…um," he searched his mind before landing on something. "I was hired back."

 

The other man frowned. "Excuse me?"

 

Max licked his lips and tried to ignore the sweat he could feel rolling down his back. "I was cleared and they hired me back." He pointed to his uniform and tried to smile like he thought this was all just a horrible misunderstanding. "See, I've got the uniform and everything."

 

Justin tilted his head to the side and stared at him appraisingly. "They hired you back?"

 

"Yeah, they cleared me and put me back on the roster yesterday morning."

 

"I wasn't made aware of that."

 

"Well that's not my fault," Max replied, halfway believing it himself. "You need to talk to them about that."

 

The other man's cheeks turned pink with embarrassment before he took a breath and righted himself, said, "all right then, I will," before turning and making his way to the stairwell.

 

Max stared after him, dumb founded that his story had actually worked when Justin turned back suddenly with narrowed eyes.

 

"What's the code for a flat line?"

 

"What," he asked.

 

"The new code. Right after you were…let go, admin came up with a new one. They'd tell you what is was before giving you a shift." His mouth tightened into a flat line, "so what is it?"

 

His hands squeezed into fists again as he ran through every combination he could think of, came up empty and decided to wing it.

 

"They never changed it," he smiled. "It's still the same one."

 

Justin started to reach for the walkee at his side and Max knew instantly that his bluff had been called. He took a step toward Justin when the other man put his hand up, palm facing out.

 

"Stop just…don't move!" He ordered and tried again to snatch his radio from it's holster. "I'll just call them now and we can get this all sorted sooner rather than later."

 

Max was afraid, more afraid then he'd been at any point in the last two months when his life had been going to hell and that's when he felt it happening again. That thing from the woods and the green space and from Liz's side earlier tonight. That yawning oblivion he fell into whenever he used his gift was widening but there was something off about it. Something sharper and darker about the energy growing low in his belly.

 

The lights overhead began to flicker and when Justin freed the two-way from his side, one of the bulbs burst with a loud crack leaving them in partial darkness.

 

The other man broke eye contact to look up and that's when Max raised his hand slowly. He didn't understand the movement, he was just going on instinct now. The gathering power inside of him expanded until he almost felt like he would choke but nothing was happening. Then Justin looked down and as soon as their eyes met he felt like someone struck a match over a puddle of kerosene.

 

The force within him burst up and through his palm, knocking Justin back through the air and into a wall about five feet from where he'd been standing. Max stared at him with an open mouth, shaking. He finally let his hand fall to his side, wincing from the pain using this new side of his power caused him. He looked at the other man before he forced himself to move toward Justin's prone body.

 

"Oh God, please don't let him be dead. Oh God, please don't let him be dead. Oh God, please don't let him be dead…" Max didn't even realize he was praying out loud until he heard his own voice echo back.

 

He stopped when the tip of his shoe hit Justin's knee and bent down. He wiped sweaty palms against his uniform pants and reached for the other man's wrist. It only took him a second to feel a strong pulse and he sighed with relief before falling back into a seated position. He rested his face in his hands and sat still for a moment, trying to catch his breath when a slightly distorted voice came over Justin's two-way.

 _  
_

_"Capriati? There was just a loud crash from the third floor of the hospital. Can you check it out?"_

 

Max watched the two-way closely with wide eyes.

 _  
_

_"Capriati, you there?"_

 

He had to do something now or they'd send more people and he might have to… Max looked at the still body to his right and reached forward to pluck the radio from Justin's hand. He put it to his mouth and tried to mimic the other man's speech patterns.

 

"Sure."

 

Quiet crackled over the receiver before they spoke back. _"Good on you,"_ and then switched over to another channel.

 

Max stuck the walkee in his waistband and ran his hands through his hair. He'd been planning on leaving Justin as he was, going back for Liz and making their way out but now that he'd sent Justin to go check out what happened, they'd be calling to find out what he saw and when he didn't answer they'd send someone up…

 

He let the thought trail off and walked around to grab Justin's hands. He had to move him or they'd discover something was wrong too quickly. Max dragged him back down the hall, looked around the corner to make sure it was all clear before pulling him down the corridor that led to Liz's room. Justin was dead weight and he was heavy. Max was struggling to carry him by the time they got to her door. He reached to the side and turned the knob, expecting it to open easily. Only this time it didn't.

 

He twisted a couple more times, becoming frantic, before he remembered Greg and let out a low, "shit." Max rarely cursed but hearing the word helped to clear his mind. He probably used his gift to open the door earlier. He bent down to grab the key chain around Justin's waist and used that to open it this time.

 

He fell through the door quickly and barely took in Liz's startled face at his return before pulling in Justin's body. When he turned toward her again, her eyes were wide.

 

"He's not—"

 

"He's knocked out," Max hurriedly answered and locked the door behind them.

 

He walked toward the bed and began to untie Liz's restraints.

 

She fell forward into his arms when he helped pull her from the bed. "I thought you weren't…I thought you were going to…"

 

"I don't know if you're crazy or I am and even though I don't believe that I'm an alien, I do believe in the way I've always felt connected to you." Max blushed a little at admitting that but went on, "I couldn't leave you."

 

She stared at him spacily as he sat her down on the floor with her back against the wall. Max picked Justin up underneath his arms and pushed him onto Liz's bed with a grunt. He tugged the other man's shoes and socks off and, after a moment of internal debate, his pants as well. Liz would need them, she couldn't walk around in only a hospital gown.

 

He pulled her back up into his arms and helped her pull the pants on. She wasn't wearing any under things and he made himself ignore the feel of her almost bare breasts against forearm. Now was not the time. He nudged her into a corner so she'd stay upright while he bent to put the socks and shoes on her feet. He leaned back to take her in and smiled a little. All of Justin's clothes were much too big but they were better than nothing.

 

He worked his arm under hers and helped her to the door when the walkee crackled back to life.

 _  
_

_"How'd it go, Capriati?"_

 

Max pulled it from his waist quickly. "Something just fell sir."

 

They walked out of the door and down the hallway towards the stairwell that led to the back entrance.

 _  
_

_"What was it?"_

 

He didn't answer as they pushed through the exit and Max caught her on the stairs when she tripped over Justin's shoes and almost fell.

 _  
_

_"Are you all right? Your voice sounds strange…"_

 

Max switched the two-way off and began to half carry; half drag her down the stairs. They had to get out of there now. He hesitated at the exit, sure that there would be police cars and helicopters and men with guns just beyond it but when pushed the handle and stuck his head out, only an almost empty parking lot greeted him. They walked out cautiously when he saw the jeep and made a mad dash toward it. He helped her into the back seat so she could sleep through the drive before he ran to the driver's seat. He stared at the building for a moment. This was it. His life would never be the same when he pulled out of this lot.

 

Max took a deep breath, turned the key in the ignition and pressed his foot on the gas.

 

\---

 

He quietly unlocked the front door of his family's home and walked in as silently as he could. Liz had fallen asleep almost immediately while Max listened to AM radio for the thirty minute drive back into town, searching for any mention of someone who might be them and came up empty.

 

He climbed the steps stealthily, skipped the one that squeaked and made his way to his bedroom. He grabbed a bag out of his closet and threw some clothes and a few books in. He was half out of the door before he turned back, they'd need something to do when they were cooped up on the run so he went back and added one or two movies before finally leaving. Max pressed his back against the wall and made his way back downstairs and through the den. The TV was still on so he stopped, afraid that someone had fallen asleep in front of it but when he peeked, the couch was empty.

 

 

" _The Police are still investigating the bizarre string of deaths …"_

 

 

He glanced up at the sound of their local reporter's voice before be moved toward his parents' office. There was no light coming from beneath the door but he pressed his ear against the wood and listened, just to make sure, before he finally pushed it open.

 

He walked across the carpeted floor toward the safe he knew they kept in the bottom of the closet. He spun the dial in a combination he'd never had to use before now and the door popped open easily. There was a few hundred, maybe even a thousand dollars, his parents left here for emergencies and one other item he'd completely forgotten about. A gun. He swept the money into his bag and hesitated before pulling out a shirt, wrapping the weapon up and placing it inside as well. He forced himself to breathe normally and was about to close the safe when he reached into his mother's desk and pulled out a pen and a pad of paper. He scribbled some words on a sheet, tossed it inside and closed the door gently.

 

Max walked back out of the room and closed the doors behind. He glided slowly to the front door, soaked in as much about the place he'd grown up in as he could. Only God knew when, maybe even _if_ but he refused to believe that, he would ever see it again. He glanced back into the kitchen, ran his hand along the back of the couch and touched the cuff of Iz's jacket that had been hung up behind the front door. He took a deep breath, memorized the smell of home and took one final look back before opening the door and locking it behind him.


	11. Chapter 11

Liz woke up in the backseat of a car with a crick in her neck and no idea where she was or how she got there. She closed her eyes against a blinding shaft of light coming through the car window and licked her dry lips slowly, tried not to panic as she thought over her options. This wasn't the first time she'd woken up somewhere unknown so Liz dragged her eyes to the front of the car, making sure she was alone, before she moved up into a seated position cautiously. She was in the backseat of a jeep, parked across the street from a gas station, a pawnshop and an over-grown vacant lot.

 

She still felt lethargic and fuzzy from whatever they'd given her in the hospital and her brain was moving too slowly. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to remember how she got out, tried to figure out where she might be when someone leaned into the open passenger side window at her back.

 

She turned around quickly, breathing hard, to find Max standing very still as his eyes racked over her.

 

"You're awake." He said carefully. She could tell he was trying not to spook her. "You've been out for awhile; I was going to wake you up when I came back."

 

She didn't respond and he started to dig through a plastic bag she only now realized was hanging from his arm.

 

"I wasn't sure what you would like so I just got these." He tossed her some Doritos and watched, face blank, as she tore open the bag and shoved a hand full into her mouth. They weren't allowed junk food in the hospital and, at that moment, she was sure she'd never eaten anything better.

 

He laughed and relaxed his stance some. "I guess I choose well then?"

 

She shrugged and he cleared his throat after a slightly uncomfortable silence. Max rubbed the back of his neck nervously as she watched him walked around and pulled open the driver's side door. She watched passively as he pulled himself in and grabbed something else from the bag on his arm.

 

"I got you some water too." He handed it to her and she quickly twisted off the cap before taking three deep gulps and leaning against the seat with a sigh.

 

She closed her eyes and tried to calm her wildly beating heart. "This is really happening. I..." She started, mostly thinking aloud as the night before came back to her in a rush. "I wasn't sure…"She opened her eyes and let herself trail off before he looked away with a blush.

 

"I couldn't leave you there," he said lowly, eyes lingering everywhere in the backseat but where she sat. He started the engine and finally glanced back at her with a wide smile. "You would've done the same."

 

He gave her a reassuring smile but Liz didn't say anything as he pulled away from the curb and onto the street

 

\---

 

They'd been driving for five minutes when something she should've considered as soon as she knew where she was climbed into her thoughts. "How long have I been out."

 

"You were pretty much asleep when I put you in the back. You—"

 

"No," she cut him off. "How long have I been out of the _hospital_?"

 

"About four hours," he responded, voice grave, and Liz clenched her hands into tight fists.

 

"What car did we leave in?"

 

"What?"

 

"What car did we leave the hospital in? This couldn't be the same…"

 

She stopped short at the tight look on his face and swallowed the anger she felt multiplying inside of her. She wasn't even upset with him really, she angry at herself for sleeping instead of making sure they got away clean.

 

"We have to dump the car."

 

"What?" He questioned, vaguely petulant. "No Liz, there's got to be—"

 

"We. Have. To. Dump. The. Car." She repeated slowly and watched his face fall at her tone. She was talking to him like an idiot but Liz wasn't exactly interested in protecting his feeling at the moment. "Haven't you seen CSI? The first thing you're supposed to do is switch cars."

 

He shook his head. "I can't!"

 

"Look," she replied lowly, sneer firmly in place. "I'm sure your parents got this for you on your 16th birthday and you were _so_ surprised and you've never been happier in your life but if we don't drop this thing off somewhere we're going to get caught." She threw her hands up, "It's amazing we haven't already been!"

 

His hands were tense on the steering wheel as he stared at the asphalt ahead of them. "There hasn't been any mention of us on the radio. Either the orderlies haven't been doing their rounds or the hospital's trying to keep it quiet."

 

"Well we've been really lucky then."

 

He didn't respond and she tightened her jaw. She had no reason to apologize, every idiot knew you couldn't keep driving around in the car you committed a crime in, but they would be joined at the hip for the near future so she needed to make nice. "Look," Liz said softly and touched his shoulder blade. "I'm sorry for all of this," she finally said, surprising herself by how heartfelt the words were.

 

He shook his head and took a breath. "It's not your fault," he muttered.

 

But it was, she thought. Now that she was out and the plan was moving forward she had the luxury of trying to put herself into his shoes for the first time. She had no idea what she would be going through right now if their roles were reversed. If she had power and faith and a loving family and good grades and a car and no worries in the world. She thought back to what he'd said earlier.

 

 

" _You would've done it for me."_

 

 

Would she have really made the choice to make her life exponentially harder on the word of a maniac in an asylum? She squeezed him before letting go of him and turning to look out the window. She'd never be able to truthfully answer that question and a part of her, a pathetic horrible part, was thankful for that.

 

Liz leaned back into the seat, a headache suddenly making her dizzy. "It's not your fault either, Max. "

 

\---

 

After struggling for longer than she would've liked, they pulled the license plate off and dumped the Jeep along a back road sandwiched between an abandoned factory and a freeway sound wall. They hopped a city bus that brought them closer to the border between Colorado and Wyoming and rented a room in a small hotel. She made sure he had everything he needed then went to the front desk and came back with a pair of a scissors.

 

He was stretched out on the twin nearest the restroom, furthest from the door and danger, and looked up at her curiously when she returned. "What are you going to with those?"

 

"I'm not going to do anything. _You're_ going to cut my hair."

 

He got up and moved to the edge of the bed very carefully. "I—" He started before she cut him off with a tight smile. They hadn't been together long but she could already read his mind.

 

"The next word out of your mouth better not be can't."

 

She could almost hear his teeth snap shut. "I'm not expecting miracles here," she went on. "I just need something different than what I have now. They're going to be on the lookout for a bad dye job so I don't want to go that far but we have to try something."

 

He got up, crossed the room and stopped in front of her. He touched the end of her hair, the back of his hand barely brushing the upper curve of her breast and she tried not to react. If anyone else had done that, she'd think it was a come on. Max met her eyes, resigned to his fate, before he dropped the lock.

 

She didn't believe it was that way with him though. Liz wasn't sure how that made her feel so she dragged him into the bathroom and turned on the overhead light. She watched him in the mirror above the small sink and tried to be upbeat.

 

"Get to work then."

 

\---

 

Liz closed her eyes on a moan as she stepped into the first scalding hot shower she'd had in months. She washed her hair with whatever the hotel had on hand and touched the ends gingerly. Max's cut wasn't a hack job but it wasn't salon quality either. It was cute though, chin length and only a little uneven. She closed her eyes and smiled unconsciously when she recalled the serious look he'd worn while styling her. He'd even asked if she wanted a bang and she'd genuinely considered it before turning him down. There wasn't anything on this earth worse than a botched bang.

 

She laughed a little at the absurd thought. Liz, more than anyone, knew how untrue that was. She forced the dark thoughts that wanted to take over away and let her mind wander to earlier. To how Max had cupped her neck and gently turned her head, how he bit his lip when he was concentrating on something, to how she'd caught his eyes in the mirror and finally figured out that they weren't brown. More of a warm, golden, honey color.

 

Her lids popped open as she felt a spark of desire course through her. "No," she said firmly, needing to hear herself say it aloud. The last thing she wanted was to get attached when one of them, most likely both of them, would be dead by the end of this. She took three deep breaths before stepping from the shower and wrapping herself in to a thin white towel.

 

She was only thinking of him that way because he was the first man to touch her since she'd gone away. She just had an itch and he didn't need to be the guy to scratch it. She nodded to herself and pulled another towel from under the sink to hand dry her hair as she left the bathroom. She opened the door and stood still for a moment, scrubbing the last drops of water from her hair. She started to say something about dinner or when they should, she can't even remember anymore, when she raised her eyes and stopped in the middle of a sentence. He was staring back at her with a look she'd seen a million times on the faces of other men. Something needy and wanton and lustful and she felt her heart beat kick up.

 

To hell with everything she'd told herself in the shower stall, Liz took a step forward without thinking and he looked away quickly, whatever spell he'd been under broken. She could see pink climbing into his cheeks as he stared into the TV screen, back ramrod straight. She could hear him breathing as she stared at the hair curling against his collar, waited for him to say something or face her again, before she went to get some clothes and remembered that she didn't have any. She groaned and grabbed some out of Max's bag before she disappeared back into the bathroom at his silence.

 

\---

 

She stayed in the bathroom a little longer than necessary, feeling stupid and off-kilter. Liz may have been only seventeen but she'd packed a lot of living into those years and there was no way she was going to let someone like him get the best of her. She opened the door, ready to pretend like nothing had happened when the news anchor on their TV caught her attention.

 

"… young woman went missing from the Open Fields mental hospital in Horse Creek late last night or early this morning." A picture of herself, looking sullen in the visiting yard, appeared on screen before it shrunk down into the corner of the screen. "It is unknown whether she broke out or if she had help but, since an orderly was knocked unconscious and placed into her bed, authorities believe she probably had a partner." A number flashed at the bottom of the screen for people to call in any sightings and they moved onto a new topic.

 

Liz leaned against the wall wearily; there would be no rest for them tonight. "We have to get out of Wyoming right now."

 

"How," he asked, his voice going high on the end like he was afraid. Like that broadcast made all of this real. "They've got to be on the lookout for us. What are we supposed to do?"

 

Liz's eyes went flat as she put all the stupid shit she'd been obsessing over earlier out of her mind. She thought of Larek and what he'd been training her for. "Get to Colorado but first, we need a new car."

 

\---

 

The midday sun beat down against their backs and she could see Max looking at her from the corner of her eye but she didn't acknowledge him. They'd been walking for maybe twenty minutes when she finally stopped. "That parking lot."

 

He looked around them. "Which one? What are we doing?"

 

"The EZ Stop, right there." She said, ignoring the second half of his question. Liz picked up her pace and he kept stride. "What's—"

 

She put her finger to her mouth, and quieted immediately, followed her line of sight to an elderly man and woman walking arm and arm towards them, and when she met his eyes again, he looked troubled.

 

"Liz?"

 

"Go over there would you?" She said, feeling vacant and still inside as she quietly moved away from him. She wouldn't want anyone to see them together now that they had a target.

 

"Liz?"

 

She turned on him quickly, jaw set and eyes grim. "I said, go over there, Max. I need you to chat those two up for a second."

 

"I…"

 

"Do it," she said firmly and he nodded.

 

She tried to be inconspicuous as she watched Max walk up and start to talk to them about something. She circled around to their side and began to make her way toward them quickly. Her hands were sweaty and almost slipped as she reached into her pocket for the gun she'd stashed there before they left the hotel. The three of them were in the middle of their conversation when, suddenly, Liz was in front of them, gun in hand.

 

All three put their hands up, including a very surprised looking Max. The kind of shock you can't fake and that was exactly what she wanted. "What are you…?"

 

"Shut up," she said quickly, raising the weapon and pointing it at the elderly couple. "Where are you parked?"

 

The woman began to speak but one look at Liz made her quiet down and carefully weigh what she was about to say. "We're over in row C." The older woman reached for the key slowly, probably trying not to alarm her attacker, and let it hang off her finger. "Take it, you don't need us."

 

"No," Liz said quietly. "I'm the one making the rules and you'll bring me to it."

 

"Li…"

 

"Shut up," she screamed. He was about to say her name and she didn't want that. "This isn't up for debate. Bring me there now or I shoot you and wait for the next person to come out."

 

She waited a beat and let them look at her, let them realize she was serious before continuing. "Make your choice, now."

 

They nodded and started moving towards row C. Max looked at her with confused eyes but her face stayed completely impassive. "You too," she pointed her gun in the couple's direction. "Start walking."

 

They kept their hands up as all four walked towards an old minivan. She watched as the older man fumble with the keys until his wife took them, gently caressing his hand and Liz looked away then, shamed by what she was doing. The old woman unlocked it finally and they stood still waiting for further instructions.

 

She licked her lips and tried not to look as nervous as she was feeling. "Throw them on the ground there," Liz said, pointing at the patch of asphalt near the toe of her tennis. They did as she asked and she bent forward slowly, never taking her eyes away from them, as she reached for them. She stood tall again and cleared her throat. "I'm gonna need you three to get in."

 

The older woman clutched her husband, showing real fear for the first time. "That's not necessary. You have the keys now just take our car and go."

 

Liz's mouth set into a flat line. "I'm only gonna tell you this one more time and then I'm gonna get angry. Get in the car."

 

The older man grabbed his wife's hand and helped her into the seat.

 

"You," she said, pointing the barrel of the gun into Max's face, "are going to drive." Max nodded jerkily and climbed in. His face was red, like he was barely able to breathe. She thought his heart was probably beating out of his chest at the belief that he'd set a truly insane person free. He might be thinking there was no Larek, no saving the world. That he wasn't an alien and she'd been lying to him the whole time. That she'd just wanted to get free and had recognized a sucker in him. He sat back on the seat and closed his eyes tightly only to open them and give her a scorching glare. The couple in the back moved to glide the door shut when she stopped them with a tsk, and pulled it back open. She clicked the child lock into the ON position and heard the woman let out a pained sob.

 

She only spared her hostages a glance before she dangled the keys in front of Max. "Don't try anything funny like locking the doors while I'm walking around to the passenger's side. The only thing that'll get you is a bullet."

 

The older man gasped at that but Liz only had eyes for Max as she got into the passenger seat and gave him the keys. "Drive."

 

\---

 

She could feel all three watching her and she knew they were thinking of jumping her, that it was three against one and they might have a real chance of coming out on top but no one moved. No one was willing to take the chance of coming out on the wrong side of a bullet. She had Max pull into an empty parking lot after about fifteen minutes of driving and turned toward the two in the back. "Empty your pockets."

 

They did so without a word and she collected their meager cash before ordering all three out of the car and face down onto the concrete.

 

She felt more under control now than she did at the beginning. Her hands felt steady now. "You're going to lay there and count to 100 and if you look up or say anything before then, I'll shoot you. Understand?"

 

They nodded and she pulled Max back up by the collar. "You're coming with me."

 

The older woman turned over quickly, about to protest, but there must have been something in Liz's face because whatever heroics she was about to display disappeared in an instant as she turned back towards the ground.

 

"Start counting," Liz ordered and dragged him to the car, threw him into the back seat and burned rubber out of the parking lot.

 

They didn't speak for a long time after until he broke the silence. "What are you going to do with me?"

 

"Just what I said we were going to do," she responded, consciously using _we_. "We're going to go to Colorado and we'll play it by ear. Wait for Larek to contact me again."

 

He was quiet for a few moments. "What exactly happened back there then?"

 

She narrowed her eyes and decided to play dumb. "What do you mean?'

 

"When do you think I mean? Just now when you took me and two other people hostage!" He said loudly. This was only the second time he'd ever yelled at her and she hesitated before answering.

 

"I didn't take you hostage." She replied quietly. "I just don't want the police to think that you're a completely willing accomplice."

 

"What?"

 

"If something happens," she went on, trying not to be frustrated by his lack of understanding. "If we get caught. I need you to be able to get out and finish this, Max. You're the key, I'm just here to teach you how to turn the lock."

 

"So all that was fake then?" he screeched. "You scared the hell out of me and those poor people for fun or something and how did you get that gun?"

 

"How did you think?" She asked lowly and watched as the realization of where it must have come from dawned.

 

He shook his head. "I didn't take it for that, Liz! I didn't take it so you could scare old people and steal their stuff!"

 

"You think that was fun for me," she yelled, "I hated doing that but we needed a new car and we needed cash, Max. You think the couple of hundred we already have is going to sustain us long enough to take care of everything? It won't!"

 

He watched the side of her face, looking angry. "Have you ever done that before because you looked awful calm back there?" he asked, changing the subject and throwing her off.

 

She stuttered before answering. "Larek's told me everything I might need to know."

 

"I know this is important Liz but we don't need to do it this way."

 

"There is no other way," she said, defeat palpable in her voice and she hoped he couldn't tell they weren't only talking about what had just occurred. "Things are the way they are and we just have to live with them."

 

"That's not true," he said. "You remember when we first met and I told you I didn't believe in destiny?"

 

She nodded uneasily.

 

"I still don't. We all have a choice in everything we do Liz and you can choose a different path."

 

She shook her head. "No. You have a destiny Max and there's no out running it. Not for either of us."

 

He put his hand on her shoulder. "Promise me you won't do anything like that again Liz."

 

She didn't answer.

 

"Promise me!"

 

"I promise," she finally said. "That I will do whatever it takes to make sure you get through the rest of this year alive. Whatever I have to do, I'll do it because you're the only hope this world has."

 

He shook his head, looking scared for her as much as for himself. "Liz…"

 

"Sit back and put your seatbelt on."

 

"Listen to me," he begged but no matter how many times he tried to engage her after that, she wouldn't answer. The conversation was over.


	12. Chapter 12

"I have to call him."

 

They'd been on their own for a week now when Max sat on the edge of his bed and looked at Liz from the corner of his eye, still pretending to be absorbed in whatever was on TV at the moment.

 

"Max?"

 

He wanted to tell her no, just as he had ever since she brought the plan up the first time 2 days ago, but time kept passing and Larek still had not contacted them.

"Max!"

 

He wanted to scream out his kneejerk negative response but the reasons why she shouldn't do it were beginning to be outweighed by the reasons that she should. Liz moved to stand in front of him and snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Are you listening? We can't afford to wait around when I can call him!"

 

He rolled his eyes before he met her gaze, let her see the fear he'd been trying to keep at bay, both for her and their situation. "I don't want you to hurt yourself, Liz."

 

She took a deep breath, and smiled as softly and as reassuringly as possible, "it won't hurt too much Max and you'll be here to watch me. To make sure nothing bad happens while I'm out. That's better than I've ever had it before."

 

"Liz…"

 

"We have to Max," she said, cutting him off, "we can't keep ducking in and out of different hotels and running from our shadows when we could at least be trying to make some progress."

 

He rubbed his temple, a nervous tick that he hadn't been aware of until recently, "how would you…?"

 

"The hotplate…"

 

"No," he deadpanned with determination and disbelief, "that's too much!"

 

She crossed her arms over her chest, "Well I could slam my hand in the door about 5 or 6 times or I could touch the hotplate once."

 

"There's got to be some other way."

 

"Got any ideas?"

 

He started and stopped twice before looking away.

 

"He answers when I'm in pain Max," she said, trying act relaxed while she went to the closet and pulled out their cook top before she set it on the dresser between them and plugged it in.

 

"Besides, you can ask him some things while I'm out."

 

"Like what," he asked, miserable about everything. Mad that he wasn't able to be more of a help to her.

 

"Like what you are exactly, how you got here. You can ask what the hell is going to happen when we get where he's been leading us," she looked over her shoulder at him, "you know, obvious things like that."

 

"Why haven't you ever asked him that stuff," he replied, a little miffed at her tone.

 

"You think I haven't? He just doesn't answer."

 

"Why not?"

 

She sat down on the edge of the bed parallel to his, their knees almost touching and he noticed that he could smell the heat from the stovetop.

 

"Because he's not here for me," she said slowly, taking deep breathes and he watched her clench her hand before she brought it above the hot plate. "He only speaks to me so he can make sure I do what he needs me to."

 

His breath caught, this was _really_ happening, he was rally about to let her do this to herself and he moved to say something, to stop her, when she brought her hand down onto the plate with a hard slap. He froze mid motion and wasn't really sure what he had been expecting but it definitely wasn't the quiet surrounding them. The almost muted response, the sickening sizzle. The only sound she'd made was a small intake of breath then a quiet encircled them that scared him.

 

"Stop Liz."

 

She ignored him and he watched her eyelids flutter for a moment before they rolled back. He felt stuck in place, unable to move forward or backward until the smell got to him. The knowledge that she was actually cooking herself penetrated his mind and he moved faster then than he'd ever remembered doing. Pushed her away and flat onto her back while he tried to ignore what was left on the surface of their cook top.

 

He leaned over her prone body after catching his breath, pushed the hair away from her face. "Liz? Wake up," he commanded gently.

 

He could feel her breathing but she wasn't responsive. "Liz!"

 

Her eyes popped open and their dull silver gleam made him pull away even though everything in his heart was telling him to pull her closer.

 

"Zan?"

 

A bolt of fear ran through him. It was there, in the room with them. It was using her voice to speak but there was something wrong with it. Like everything that was special and uniquely her had been pulled out of it, like it had been _de-Lized_ , like it had been sterilized.

 

"My name is Max," he was finally able to choke out, moving as far as he could away from her without falling off the edge of the bed. He couldn't quite bring himself to get up yet. He didn't want to leave her while that thing had her under his control.

 

Though Larek wasn't using any of her facial muscles, he could feel his amusement when he replied, "Zan and Max are one in the same but I will humor you."

 

His hand was shaking and so he shoved it under his thigh, tried to sound sure and confident. "We've been waiting to hear from you."

 

"I was unable to get through because of the medication they were giving her. I had to wait until it was cleared through her system."

 

"You're here now."

 

"She called me. I am only able to take over this host's body during certain times."

 

"This host?"

 

"This is not the first human body I have occupied."

 

He was sweating even though the room was only 73 degrees. "How do you do that? How do you _occupy_ her?"

 

"We are able to extract our essential selves from a body and move around in other forms. Some host's are susceptible while asleep and some are only open to me when they are in pain."

 

He watched him (her? it?) for a second, curious even though he didn't want to be. "What am I?"

 

Larek thought before answering. "You are the crowned prince of a planet named Antar."

 

Max felt his heart drop. He'd known, the healing ability and the magically unlocked doors were hard things to ignore, but he'd hoped there was another explanation. "So I'm an alien?"

 

"It is not that simple. The procedure was supposed to leave you fully alien but it had never been performed before and we were unable to contact you afterwards. Something went wrong."

 

"What procedure," he could hear a distinct shriek like quality to his tone but he couldn't control it, wasn't even really trying to.

 

"You're…" Larek stopped for a moment, "reincarnation is the word most humans would probably think of it as."

 

Max took a deep breath and tried to fight back the tears he felt pinching behind his eyes. "Why would I need to be reincarnated?"

 

"There was an uprising on our home planet. A man named Khivar turned a man inside the palace named Nascedo against the crown and they started a revolution. A battle raged from then on that decimated the population and turned a once vibrant planet into a shell."

 

Max sat and listened, rapt. "What happened then?"

 

"The planet was destroyed."

 

"Destroyed?"

 

"Khivar would rather the planet end then to let someone besides himself rule it. He, Nascedo and a few others were able to leave just before they detonated the bomb."

 

He struggled to find his footing, to understand the loss he felt for a life he couldn't even remember living,."I was one of the ones who escaped?"

 

"No, just before he set his plan into motion, he was able to get into the palace. While inside he killed your parents, you, your sister and your first lieutenant but not before sympathizers were able to retrieve some of your DNA. We first created clones and sent them to Earth but the ship crashed and all onboard were killed. The humans were also able to confiscate the bodies and the ship. We were not willing to risk such an event happening again and we didn't have enough specimens to try and remake you three but there was just enough of you three left for us to try another approach."

 

Max nodded slowly, feeling numb. "Vilandra is inside of my sister?"

 

Larek shook his head. "Let me explain. We decided that we needed to implant you inside someone already on the planet, that way, you would have a readymade human shell and would have built in protection for your formative years. We choose Dianne Evans as the surrogate because she was in the right place and already pregnant. We then implanted you and aspects of both your sister's and first lieutenant 's essences' inside of her body."

 

"My mom was already pregnant?"

 

"Yes."

 

Max felt bile rising in the back of his throat and covered his mouth. "Oh my God!"

 

"What is it?"

 

"You killed…me," he said after a moment. "You killed whoever I was going to be!"

 

"Would you prefer that we left you dead Zan? Contrary to what you would like, the prior occupant of your body was not you. Would you have rather never known the ones who raised you, to have never met my host?"

 

He felt like his head was spinning. "What?"

 

"You questioned me on what you are and the truth is that I am not quite sure. You were supposed to be our king but it seems that you are more human than what we originally planned."

 

"Excuse me," he asked, disbelief and want warring inside of him.

 

"We lost you after your implantation because something went wrong and I believe more than our ability to track our kind was damaged by our inability to take our time with the procedure. Our society had something like a hive mind. We were able to live separate lives but we were also able to tap into one another. We were never able to accomplish that with you but now that you're so near I am able to read some of your emotions and thoughts."

 

He recoiled and moved from the bed, stood back against the wall. "I don't like the idea that you're able to get inside of my mind."

 

"This is the way it is," Larek responded. "I know what you know and I see this body the way you see it, I feel about it the way you do and it disturbs me. I've seen what you think about, what you want to do and I find it repulsive. On Antar, we were above such…desires," Larek says with Liz's mouth. "We had no need for such intimacy and seeing my crown prince desire it is repugnant."

 

Max's mouth fell open in an O of understanding. "That's why sex makes you leave," he said more to himself than the being lying across the bed but it answered anyway.

 

"I cannot stand the act, the loss of control is disgusting. The fact that you want for such a thing is proof that the procedure was not stable."

 

"I wasn't supposed to be human at all," he asked.

 

"You were supposed to be a pure reproduction in a human body but it seems as though your essence was undermined during the transfer. I am not quite sure what you are now."

 

Max was about to ask something else when he thought of Liz. Of all the pain and hurt she'd been through because of this whole mess and decided to find out something for her. "Why did you pick her?"

 

"This particular host?"

 

"Yeah," he said lowly. "Why destroy her life the way you have?"

 

"Because she doesn't matter," it answered flatly. "Because she was the first to answer my call."

 

He breathed in and held it, tried to focus before he asked, "what do you…," but the silver gleam disappeared before he could finish his question and Liz began gasping for breath.

 

He moved back across the room, took her into his arms and moved her head so that it rested against his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

 

"Huh," she responded and he picked her charred hand up and moved it a safe distance away so she wouldn't accidently hit it. The wound looked better than it had before Larek entered her body but it was far from healed.

 

She opened her eyes, looked up at him and he smiled, happy to see her becoming more lucid. "Do you want me to get you anything?"

 

She frowned and swallowed thickly. "Some water would be nice."

 

He nodded and laid her head across the pillow, once again making sure her damaged hand was safe, before he went to the bathroom and filled a paper cup from the tap. He looked at himself in the mirror, took in the bloodshot eyes, and splashed some water across his face. The last thing in the world she needed to be worried about was his welfare. He waited a bit before bringing the cup back and sitting beside her as she drank fitfully.

 

"How did it go?"

 

He licked his lips and put his hand on her shoulder. "Well, he told me some things about my home planet."

 

"He did?"

 

"He told me it was called Antar and that I was it's crown prince."

 

She looked shocked. "I knew it had to be something important for them to look for you all this time but it's still surprising." She took another drink before smiling slightly. "I'm in the presence of royalty then?"

 

He smiled, when she was around it seemed like the things that scared him most lost a little of their power. "It would seem so. Does it hurt?"

 

She looked at him curiously and he nodded to her hand. She shook her head and said, "not too much," but he could see her clenching her jaw against it and got up to go get some ice from the dispenser in the hall.

 

"Did you ask anything else?" She said casually when he came back in,

 

He pulled a towel from the top of the closet and sat the bucket on top of it next to her on the bed before settling her hand inside. "Like what?"

 

She shook her head. "Like anything."

 

He stopped what he was doing and looked at her face when she said that, watched her try to pretend that she was just curious, and he knew what she really wanted to know: Why Me?

 

" _Because she doesn't matter."_

 

He lowered his gaze, watched his thumb as he ran it along her collarbone, unable to meet her eyes as he lied. "I didn't really get to ask much but next time I'll try."

 

He couldn't tell her truth, that her life was in tatters simply because she'd been in the wrong place at the wrong time. There was solace to be found in the belief that your horrible life was unavoidable. That no matter what happened you'd always end up exactly where you were anyway and he couldn't bring himself to tell her that if she only taken another turn, been a minute late, that if only she had never answered the voice she heard in her brain that she might be sitting in a high school right now instead of running from the law.

 

He could never be that cruel to anyone.

 

Especially to her.

 

Max looked up with a small smile. "Just go to sleep so this thing can heal."

 

Her eyes had been fluttering with exhaustion since Larek left. He couldn't imagine how draining it must be to have someone else controlling your body. "Okay, but you lie down too."

 

He squeezed her hip with his other hand and went to lie down on his twin bed even though he wasn't the least bit tired. He knew that if he didn't, she would worry over him leaving without her supervision and he wanted her to sleep well. "Good night, Liz."

 

"Good night." She responded groggily and when he looked over she was already out.

 

\---

 

He woke up slowly and looked at the ceiling. Max hadn't felt tired when he laid down but he must have been because he'd been out for hours, it was now dark outside. Max rubbed the sleep from his eyes and tried to remember what had disturbed him when he heard her groan and roll over.

 

"…No…"

 

He looked at the dark hump beneath the covers from across the room as she started to breathe hard.

 

"No…Larek…I, I can't."

 

"Liz," he called from across the room but she didn't wake up.

 

"No! Please don't!"

 

He got up and moved to kneel beside her bed, grabbed her shoulders to shake her awake. "Liz!"

 

She came out of the dream with a start and a gasp before recognizing him and pulling him closer.

 

"Are you alright?"

 

She didn't say anything, just dragged her good hand across his back like she was making sure he was really there. He could feel the curve of her mouth in the bend of his shoulder and relaxed into it. "Whatever it is, it's okay."

 

"No," she said on a broken tone. "It's not okay."

 

He pulled back and tried to catch her eye. "What do you mean?"

 

"I spoke…," she stopped speaking but her face was covered in darkness so he didn't see it coming until her mouth touched his own. He pulled back, shocked, but she didn't let him go. Just took his face in her hands and moved him closer, kissed him again and this time he relaxed even though alarm bells were going off in the back of his mind.

 

He ignored them.

 

Max had only kissed a girl twice before so when she told him to slow down he did, when she slipped her tongue between his lips he followed suit. Mimicked her actions and only stopped when she tried to climb out of her bed and into his lap.

 

"Liz I…"

 

"Don't," she said quickly. "Don't talk I just need you to help me."

 

"With what Liz," he whispered even though it wasn't necessary, even though he already had a good feeling what she'd ask of him. She was shaking and so he ran his hands down her arms. "What do you need?"

 

She laid her head back against his shoulder, murmured, "touch me," into his ear and, in this moment, he was thankful for the cover of darkness because those were the two words he'd always been too afraid to want to hear from her. He wanted to, God knew he'd been dreaming of it since the day he met her. How soft her skin would be. How her moans might sound, damp and low in his ear, but something was wrong and the last thing he wanted was to take advantage of her when she was in a weak moment.

 

"I can't do that. Just tell me and I'll help any other way."

 

"Max," she said, pulling the lobe of his ear between her teeth, seducing him. "There isn't any other way. I need you to help me."

 

He sat there for a second before he felt her hand moving down and under his shirt and that's when he pushed her to the side and stood up. One more second of her hands on him and he'd be compromising not only their relationship but his beliefs.

 

He began to pace. "We can't do this, Liz. I know It's probably Larek, right?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Then…" he looked away, feeling heat flood his face. "I'll go into the bathroom and let you deal with it."

 

She scoffed and he could feel her shaking with tension, "Max…"

 

He looked at her with sympathy. "I want to help you but I can't do that. I would never want…for it to happen like that between us."

 

She said nothing so he continued. "How about I just leave you alone?"

 

Max could barely make out her nod in the affirmative before he scampered into the bathroom and shut the door tightly behind himself. He sat on the edge of the tub and covered his eyes when he realized he was staring at the door. It wasn't right, thinking of her just on the other side of it, doing what she was doing when it was a private matter. When it was only way she could regain control of her mind.

 

He clenched his jaw and rubbed his clammy palms against his jeans, it was wrong and he wouldn't give into temptation but then 5 minutes turned into 10, then 15 and he found himself standing and slowly moving to the door. This was wrong, he knew it with everything inside of him that this was wrong, but he put his ear to the door anyway. Struggling to hear anything, a caught breath, a squeaky spring and when there was nothing he became concerned. Max had been in here for at least 20 minutes now. She should be done or making some noise at least.

 

"Liz?"

 

There was no answer.

 

He turned the knob slowly, so she'd be sure to see the door opening, and walked back into the room only to see her bed empty and the door beyond it wide open.


	13. Chapter 13

Liz crossed her arms over her chest and leaned into the wind as she quickly walked down the street, their hotel becoming a small dot in the distance. He was still there though, _Larek_. Listening in, clawing to get out. Liz's palms were sweaty with the force it took to beat him back. She wiped them on her jeans as she crossed the street and looked in either direction. To her right was nothing but deserted road lined on either side with tall fir trees and the thick scent of pine in the air. To her left was what passed for the city center. Most of the shops were shuttered and dark but she could make out one bar with a bright red sign at the other end street. The parking lot seemed to be mostly full and she could hear thin strains of country music pouring through its front doors. A hard wind gusted down the street and made Liz squeeze herself tighter.

 

She thought of Max for a moment, imagined how his face would look when he finally left that bathroom and found her gone before pushing the image away. He didn't understand. No matter how many times she tried to explain it, he'd never understand what it was like to live with someone else in his head. To be nothing more than a puppet to—

 

 

 _Liz_

She'd known _He_ was there before he ever spoke but the sound of his voice after such a long absence still shook her.

Larek?

 _Yes, here is what you will do next…_

 

 _  
_

Liz frowned as the recollection of the dream that woke her up, that set all of this into motion, cut into her thoughts. Larek's energy pulsed inside of her at the memory and Liz shoved him back down. She wouldn't let him have her, not tonight. Liz shook her head and started walking toward the club. Max didn't understand the lengths she would go to keep what little bit of the _real_ her remained. She rubbed the goose bumps on her arms and picked up her pace. Liz hoped he would never have to.

 

\---

 

The club looked like every dive Liz had ever found herself in. From the florescent jukebox, to the stuffed animal heads on the wood paneled walls, to the torn cushions on the barstools to the autographed photos of third-rate singers over the shelves behind the bartenders back; it all felt so familiar. She took a deep breath and subconsciously touched the ends of her newly cut hair. Liz was beginning to feel comfortable here and when a brunette man in tight jeans walked by, hard green eyes taking in every inch of her frame, she felt in control. All thoughts of why she was out here, of the man she left in her hotel room and why she had to leave fled her mind as she made her way to the bar and took a seat.

 

She raised two fingers and waited for the bartender to make his way toward her. She thought she might have some trouble, the bob Max gave her having shaved years off an already young face, but she wasn't asked for ID. Maybe the truth of what she'd been through was written on her. Maybe the responsibility she carried around inside had aged her.

 

"What can I get you?"

 

She looked up at the sound of the bartenders voice. "Shot of Vodka, please. No ice."

 

He nodded before walking away.

 

"Nothing pink?"

 

"Excuse me?" Liz asked and turned to her side to see a wiry blond in a wife beater sitting beside her.

 

"Nothing pink" he reiterated, swiveling his torso toward hers. "Nothing girly I mean. Not a Cosmo or a Dirty Shirley Temple or an Apple Martini?"

 

"Not tonight," Liz replied, watching him curiously.

 

He watched her back.

 

"You from here?"

 

"You know I'm not."

 

"Just trying to make conversation," he drawled slowly, a mischievous smile beginning to take up residence on his face and Liz felt herself mimicking it as she looked him over. His hands were clean but the nail beds were stained black and both his jeans and t-shirt were marked with oil. His fingers were probably rough, thick with calluses from whatever it was he did all day and Liz could already imagine how they would feel against her skin. She licked her lips and ran a hand through her hair as she downed the contents of the glass before her and ordered another one.

 

"You do look familiar though," he went on. "Where have I seen you?"

 

The second question didn't seem to be directed at her and Liz tightened her jaw, looked at him with a practiced grin. "Just one of those faces."

 

He stared at her with narrowed eyes, not convinced in the least, and she tensed, ready to bolt if he asked her anything else but he let the conversation drop.

 

"Where are you from, then?" he finally said and quietly put money down when she got her second shot. Liz nodded her thanks.

 

"Here and there."

 

"I love girls from here and there," he replied and she actually laughed. The sound felt rusty and unfamiliar in her throat, like she was speaking a foreign language.

 

"That's funny."

 

"Why's that?"

 

"Because I love boys from nowhere."

 

"That's me, honey," he replied lowly, blue eyes sparkling as his hand slid across the bar toward hers. "I've never been more than a state away in any direction and I probably never will." He didn't sound bitter about it either and Liz liked that. How comfortable he was with his lot in life. He moved his stool closer and touched the bony knob of her knee. "You with anyone?"

 

She leaned against him and swiped the beer that was slowly going flat on the bar in front of him. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He was lanky but she could feel hard, flat, muscles beneath the thin shirt he wore. He was wearing some sort of cologne but she could smell the sweat beneath and she snuggled closer. Took a deep drink of his beer and didn't move away after she put it back. "That depends."

 

"On what?"

 

"You live alone?"

 

If her abrupt demeanor took him aback, he hid it perfectly. "No, my two brothers are there but—"

 

Liz shook her head. "How big is your car?"

 

He started to speak but was drowned out by the jukebox behind them coming to life and a man's forlorn voice filling the room. He leaned forward and spoke against the side of her ear. "I have a truck with a pretty comfortable backseat."

 

"Where is—"

 

"Out behind the bar. It's usually pretty dead back there and if we do see anyone, they're doing the same thing we are. They'll mind their own business."

 

She took another drink and started to stand when he stopped her.

 

"What's your hurry? We could order something first."

 

"What, are we on a date now?" she asked more sharply than she would've liked. "I didn't come here to drink."

 

"Could've fooled me," he deadpanned, looking at his half-empty glass and Liz could feel his shine beginning to wear off.

 

"I have someplace to be."

 

"Your hotel?" He asked lowly, his breath against her neck and Liz moved in closer even though everything inside her said to get away. The nearer the man got, the more she could feel Larek receding further and further into the back of her mind. "Gotta get back before the boyfriend wakes up, right?"

 

She turned her face away from him and thought of Max. Of the way he'd blushed as he closed the bathroom door earlier that night. Of the day she first met him and the uncertainty their future held. It was dangerous, leaving him there alone, but Liz needed this, she _needed_ _this_ , and if he wouldn't help her… if he couldn't take care of himself for one goddamn hour they had a lot more to worry about than Larek.

 

"Would it make any difference?" she finally answered flatly, looking off into the middle distance and he tucked some hair behind her ear. She shivered at the contact. It had been so long since someone touched her like this and he knew. She could tell by the curve of his lip that he could see right through her. Liz could see him too.

 

"Not a whit."

 

She looked up into his face and felt something hollow out inside her. She no longer felt real, more like a character in a play, reading lines someone else wrote. Liz stood swiftly and took a breath. "Then meet me out back."

 

She didn't look over her shoulder to make sure he went as she walked to the restroom. The room was dank and poorly lit but clean. Liz stood in front of one of the mirrors and combed her hand through her hair, checked her watch and splashed some cold water on her face. She'd walk home afterwards and they'd forget this ever happened. Max wouldn't ask where she'd been because he wouldn't want to know and he didn't need to know. She wasn't under any obligation to share with him anyway. All she had to do was get him through the rest of the year. All she was here for was to keep him alive.

 

Why did that feel like such a lie?

 

Liz rubbed the heels of her palms into her eyes before the woman in the mirror came into sharp relief before her. Her brown eyes were dark, thickly rimmed in raccoon eyeliner and sunken from a lack of sleep. Her skin was washed out and pale but her lips were red as currants and split into a wide smile.

 

In a few minutes, nothing would hurt anymore and even though it wouldn't last. It would be enough.

 

She washed her hands, dried them before she left the restroom and at the end of the hall, she could see the exit sign. Liz walked toward it and pulled the door open. She narrowed her gaze as she looked out into the parking lot. At first glance, all she could see was inky darkness but, after letting her sight adjust, she could just barely make him out as he leaned, lanky and casual, against the side of his car. She stepped forward and let the back door shut behind her.

 

"I was starting to think you wouldn't show," he yelled over to her and she could hear a smile in his voice.

 

"No such luck," she replied, taking a step forward, the loud crunch of the gravel beneath her feet filing her ears as she walked toward him. "Looking for an out?"

 

"Not likely," he replied, voice dropping an octave as she stepped closer. He watched her for a moment before reaching forward and cupping the side of her neck. "Come here."

 

She did as she was told. Leaned forward until their upper bodies touched and angled her mouth over his. It was strange in the beginning, the way first kisses always are: thrilling and scary, like she was falling into something deep, head first without a helmet. The presence inside her shrunk further back the longer their embrace went on and when the man she was with opened the door to his car. Liz got in.

 

\---

 

Her throat was dry afterward, sticky and rough from gasping breaths, and all Liz could think of was a glass of water as she pulled her jeans back up.

 

"Going in?"

 

She nodded, "I need a drink."

 

"Me too," he replied, voice lazy as he leaned over the console, pulled a pack of cigarettes from the glove box and lit one up. He relaxed back against the seat with a sigh and took a deep pull. "On me?"

 

Liz felt good, lighter and happier than she had in a long time. There was no unseen person at her back, no voice whispering in her ear but that of her companion and a woman growling about her no good man from the jukebox inside the club. She let her head fall to the side, smiled at his profile as she pulled her shirt back into place and combed through her tangled locks. "Sure."

 

He rolled the back window down a crack and Liz drew a happy face in the steam before the cool air outside made it disappear. "You ready, then?"

 

"Yeah."

 

They got out and he wrapped his arm around her waist—his hand hovering at the widest part of her hips—and Liz leaned against his side. He kissed her again then, in the dark, beneath a busted food light and she could almost believe that this was her life. That she was a young girl, sneaking into clubs, meeting up with boys. That she'd sneak back into her house later on tonight and have an awesome story to tell her friends tomorrow at school.

 

He said something she couldn't make out against the side of her neck as they walked to the bar's backdoor and she could almost believe it. Could almost believe that the world wasn't going to end, that she had nothing to do but stay in school and be young. He opened the door, ushered her inside and when she looked up, smile bright and weightless, she saw him—she saw _Max_ —and stopped short. He was sitting in a booth just ahead of them, looking down at something on the table when he glanced up, eyes darting around the room before they landed on her. His face seemed empty of any sort of recognition at first. He even looked away, before his spine straightened and his stare swung back.

 

He looked at her blankly, his eyes flicking toward the man on her arm every so often, before Liz shook him off and stepped away. Max followed her—his gaze so steady she had to look away and just like that, the comforting warmth of her lie fell away. All she had left was the sharp edge of her situation, that there was no out, that she already knew the ending.

 

"You okay? Yu forgot the bar is—"

 

He must have followed her gaze because he never finished his sentence. Max stood and started toward them purposely. The man at her side did not move when he stopped in front of them.

 

"When I saw that you were gone, I left the hotel and I just assumed…" He let the thought trail off. "When I got here, I asked around and they told me you were out back. I decided to wait."

 

Their eyes held and Liz stepped closer to him. "Thanks for your help. I'll see you around." Even though she hadn't looked away from Max, all three people knew who she was talking to.

 

She felt him step away. He said, "Nice night," and disappeared off to the other side of the building. They didn't speak until Max broke the silence.

 

"Are you ready to go then?"

 

He sounded calm and Liz followed his lead even though she felt anything but. "I was going to get a drink but—"

 

"Well let's get one then," he cut in, like everything was fine as he began to walk to the bar.

 

"No, I just want to go now."

 

"But if you want the drink I want you to have it, Liz."

 

"No," she replied.

 

"Let's go get it," he ordered, grabbing her wrist and Liz wrenched away.

 

"I. Don't. Want. It."

 

Their voices had risen at some point and Liz suddenly realized that every eye in the bar was on them. She could feel a charge in the air, a watchfulness that hadn't been there before. She looked to the side to see a man standing there, eyes trained on the two of them, arms tense. She licked her lips and took a breath, touched his shoulder gingerly and he seemed like he wanted to pull away but the look on her face stopped him.

 

"Let's go, Max," she said placidly and she could see him notice how quiet the bar had gotten. "We'll talk about this at home all right? Let's go." she knew it was stupid to make a scene, to make themselves memorable to these people in any way. They had to leave town now. They had to leave as soon as possible.

 

She let her hand drift down the curve of his shoulder until she reached his hand and took it in her own. "Let's go."

 

As soon as he nodded, she tugged him out of the front door and into the chilly darkness outside. They walked at a swift clip, trying to put as much space between them and the bar as possible when her foot caught something on the sidewalk and almost sent her reeling.

 

"Liz?"

 

She ignored him and closed her eyes tightly as the liquor she drank earlier began to rebel. Her head was spinning and she stood still, took a deep breath and put her hand to her stomach. She'd drank too much too fast after she'd been forced to abstain. Add that to the fact that the meds they gave her where still being flushed from her system and you've got a bad combination.

 

"Do you have a mint or something?"

 

She could see Max moving behind her. His hand hovered at her elbow before he dropped it back to his side. "No, why?"

 

"To settle my stomach."

 

"Are you all right? Do you need to—"

 

"Max just—"

 

"Liz!"

 

It all came up in a rush then, bending her forward at the waist and coating her hand in the process. She rested her palms against her knees and gasped for breath before her abdomen cramped, pushing more up. Max was at her side in an instant, he pulled her hair back into a knot at the nape of her neck and rubbed her lower back in a circle until all she could do was dry heave.

 

Liz made herself stand up straight and when Max grabbed her forearms to turn her to face him, she didn't resist. The night hung there between them—twitching and angry, begging to be addressed—but they both made an unspoken agreement to ignore it, for the moment at least.

 

He looked her over before pushing back a sweaty block of hair. She was a mess—jittery and sickly—and Liz didn't need a mirror to know that, but he didn't say anything.

 

"Feel better?"

 

She nodded and swallowed the taste of bile in her mouth, wishing she could go back and get that glass of water. "We have to get back to the hotel and pack. We gotta leave town tonight."

 

"Let's wait until morning."

 

"Max—"

 

"We need a new car and you need to lie down for a little while. We'll use some of our cash, trade the van in and go to Colorado then."

 

Liz sighed, "You don't—"

 

"Yes I do," he said, the anger they'd carefully put aside, pushing back to the fore. "You're the boss, you know everything and you're in charge but could you at least think about my suggestions before throwing them out? We're in this together; could you please start acting like it?"

 

She looked at him, shocked by his outburst and the truth it contained. A part of her wanted to tell him to shut up, that he was just some pampered kid who didn't even know he had to switch cars after a kidnapping. That he was just some idiot who'd she'd been drafted to do the dirty work for. The words were on the tip of tongue, vibrating with their need to be spoken, but she bit them back. It was strange he was usually the one who diffused the situation.

 

She looked at him, if Liz was being honest, she _did_ wave his concerns off more often than not. She shouldn't this time, not when his plan made sense. With the scene they'd just made and what had become nightly appearances on the news, it was a bad idea to stick around but it would be even worse to try and run, unprepared, and get caught. Most criminals were caught while traveling, they should go to ground for a while.

 

The quiet between them grew taut. "Okay," she finally relented and crossed her arms over her chest. "We'll wait until tomorrow." She fidgeted with the short sleeves of her shirt and he took off the thin jacket he was wearing.

 

"You're cold?"

 

She put it on without responding and their eyes held before each looked away: one, toward a point he could barely see surrounded by trees. The other, toward a fluorescent, red sign and her memory of an empty stool, just waiting to be filled.


	14. Chapter 14

Liz was already awake, the TV a buzzing drone in the background, when Max woke up early the next morning.

 

"I checked the news," she said, moving around the room quickly without meeting his gaze or giving him anytime to gain his bearings. "Then I went to the front desk and got the clerk to let me check the computer. I didn't see any movement on us over night. We should try and leave now."

 

Max pulled himself up into a seated position and stretched his hands over his head, yawning.

 

"I already ate but I got you some breakfast," she tossed a McDonald's bag to him and narrowly missed hitting his shoulder blade. "Do you want to eat or take a shower first?

 

Max was too busy trying to figure out what was going on to respond. Liz stopped after a moment and finally turned to him.

 

"What are you looking at?"

 

The question came out in a clipped tone and Max rubbed the back of his neck wearily. They'd had their first bust up last night—a disagreement that had nothing to do with Aliens or the cops or running— and hadn't resolved their differences with the sort of knockdown, drag out fight that usually accompanied such circumstances. They were talking around something now and awkwardness had grown between them while he slept.

 

They stared at one another for a beat.

 

"Nothing, Liz," Max relented and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Now wasn't the time to have that conversation, there was too much that needed to be done in too little time. "How long have you been up?"

 

"A few hours."

 

Liz was more put together this morning—hair combed, the bandage on her hand had already been changed—than she'd ever been in his presence but she looked tired, too. He would bet she'd been up for much longer than an hour or two.

 

She turned and spoke over her shoulder. "About the van—"

 

"I don't want it to be like last time, Liz." Max said, forgetting all about the eggshells they were supposed to be walking on and eyed her seriously. "You—"

 

"It won't be," Liz stated. She didn't turn to him but he could hear her breathing. Her back had gone ramrod straight and he could see her arms crossed protectively over her chest. "I was desperate. We have choices now." She ran her hand through her hair and stared at the wall before she turned and walked toward the head of his bed. She had a newspaper in her hand. "Just take a look."

 

Max reached for the paper she extended toward him. He scanned the small print until his eyes landed on an ad circled in black ink. It was for a '94, baby blue Chevy listed for 1000 dollars. There were a few too many miles on it but it was better than the alternative.

 

"Check it out," she said. "Tell me what you think."

 

"Okay," he agreed, sort of surprised and—if he's being honest –a little suspicious that Liz was even trying to include him in the planning process. She'd agreed to stop treating him like a tag along the night before but a part of him never thought she would actually go through with it. The stilted quiet between them stretched as he read.

 

"You can have the shower first if you want," Max said, trying to break it. "I'll load the car and finish up out here."

 

She licked her lips, narrowed her eyes like she wanted to say something then shook it off. "All right," Liz agreed, gathering a towel and something to change into. "I'll make it quick."

 

He nodded sharply and watched her disappear into the restroom and Max hated how oddly relieved he felt to be alone. Even when they first met, through her drug induced haze and the eventual mistrust that fell on their relationship, the air between them had never been this tense. He stared at the TV, not actually listening to a word the man on the screen said, before standing up. He'd slept in his boxers, so it didn't take long for him to dress. Max hurriedly pulled on some jeans and a t-shirt, opened the McDonald's bag, took the breakfast sandwich she'd brought him out and started to eat it one handed.

 

They'd never unpacked so it didn't take long for him to move their meager belongings to the back seat of the car. He grabbed the hotplate from the back of the closet even though he couldn't imagine himself ever using it again and swallowed the final bite of his sandwich, as he brought it to the car. It hadn't been hard work lugging the bags out but he was already sweating as he stood in the parking lot, the sun hot on his back. He let his gaze roam the sea of black top around him before his eyes fell on the glass-enclosed lobby. He chewed on his lip as an idea came to mind and he started toward the front desk.

 

He was only gone a minute—five at the most—but when he came back into the room, he found Liz already out of the bath and standing in the middle of the floor in a pair of shorts and a wife beater; a pinched look covered her face.

 

"Where were you?"

 

Even though her voice was even as she spoke, he could hear apprehension seeping through. Max showed her the stack of towels. "I thought we could use them to wipe down the room." She didn't move and he went on, unsure. "You know, fingerprints—"

 

"Yeah, I got it." She answered tersely, grabbed a hand towel from the top of his pile and began cleaning without another word.

 

He bit back a caustic remark and followed her lead instead. _Now wasn't the time_. They wiped each surface of the room down silently and methodically, from the rim of the bathtub to the doorknobs to the remote control. Max wasn't under any illusions. He knew this wouldn't stop the cops if they caught their trail, but he hoped it might slow them down.

 

"Are you ready," Liz asked, closing the bathroom door behind her. It was the first time someone had spoken in more than an hour. "It's already 11:30. We should have been out of here by now. "

 

Max nodded and stood as he took one more look around to make sure they had everything. "Let's go."

 

They left the room and locked it behind them. "You take the first shift driving," Liz said, her hand acting as a visor against the sun. "I'll go pay. Bring the car around."

 

She was already walking away before Max could agree. He watched her back for a moment and tried not to be annoyed by how short she was being with him. They'd passed a milestone in their relationship and now they were relearning how to speak to each other. This is what he'd wanted, for them to grow. There had to be an adjustment period.

 

His eyes slipped to the distracting length of thigh her shorts left bare and made a mental note for them to stop somewhere along the way and get her more clothes. He hurried to the van after she turned the corner and jumped into the driver's seat. By the time he pulled up to the exit of the motel, Liz was already standing there.

 

She got into the passenger side quickly.

 

"That was—"

 

"Yeah, I know. Let's go." She spoke over him and Max looked at her curiously. Liz swiveled around when he didn't move with comically wide eyes. "Or we can sit here until the cops recognize the stolen car we're driving. Your call partner."

 

He pulled away without taking the trouble to answer her. They drove along the mostly empty streets, each deep in their own thoughts, but it didn't take long to find the mechanic shop selling the truck; they pulled into it's driveway less than ten minutes later.

 

They got out of the van and walked into the door, a small bell above them announcing their entrance. Inside, the shops set up was bare—grey carpeted floors, three rows of sparsely covered shelves with a some merchandise hanging on the back wall. No one was at the register. Max wondered where the clerk was when he heard footsteps coming from the side and turned to see a familiar face.

 

"Hi again"

 

The blond from the night before stood in front of them with a smirk. Max looked at him, then looked at Liz to watch as a brief spurt of panic was replaced with a practiced smile. "Hello."

 

"What can I do for you today?"

 

There was a slight hesitation before the word _today_ and last night—what they did—flashed through Max's mind. He felt his face heating up as he listened to Liz laugh in response to the man's flirtation.

 

"The ad for the car, we came to check it out."

 

"Oh." Dylan, as his nametag read, stuck both hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. "It's off to the side; I'll grab the keys and meet you two out there."

 

Max waited until the door shut behind them to speak. "We should leave now."

 

"Why?" Liz asked.

 

"If he could've forgotten what…"Max's stumbled for a word. "What happed at the bar, he definitely won't forget us if we buy a car from him, too. I think we should just hold onto the van until we cross the Colorado border."

 

Liz shook her head. "There's no way I'm taking that car across states lines and besides," she lowered her voice as Dylan exited the back door and started toward them. "I think I might be able to work something here."

 

"Liz—" He started to say but Dylan was there and he kept quiet, watched and paced as they flirted and ignored his presence for the next twenty minutes.

 

"Does your boss know it takes you this long with each customer," he finally blurted out when Liz popped the hood and Dylan moved up behind her to point something out.

 

"Excuse me?"

 

"Why is this taking so long? We want the car, obviously, or we would've left by now."

 

Dylan tore his gaze away from Liz and looked at Max. "Well I have to make sure—"

 

"The car's old, we're aware that it's going to have issues and you've explained them all thoroughly. Can we hurry this along?"

 

Liz turned toward him as if she were going to disagree.

 

"We have to go," he said before she could speak and didn't flinch under her pointed look. "You know we don't have a lot of time."

 

Max's face was stern as they stared at one another. Waiting to see who would break first.

 

"Come here for a second?" She finally asked quietly and he followed her around the side of the building and back out to the front lot.

 

"If you can't be nice, just wait out here."

 

"I _was_ being nice," he ignored her scoff. "I was nothing but polite!"

 

"You were a passive aggressive jerk—"

 

" _I_ was the jerk? He didn't speak to me once the entire time we've been here!"

 

"We need this truck, okay," she said, lowering her voice and checking to make sure Dylan hadn't gotten curious and followed them. "Just stay here and let me do this."

 

He grudgingly agreed after a moment and as she walked back to the truck, he petulantly kicked the pavement when she was out of sight. It was childish but he was frustrated by her, by their inability to understand one another and his lack of control over their situation.

 

He leaned against the side of the van and crossed his legs at the ankle as he waited impatiently for them to finish up. Not too much time later, he saw them come in through the back door with big smiles. Liz walked around the counter while Dylan reached beneath it and grabbed some papers. They looked up through the wide plane of glass he was standing outside of in the front of the store and began to laugh.

 

Max had no doubt they were laughing about him.

 

He watched as Dylan walked around to Liz's side of the counter and touched the small of her back. She smiled at him then in a way she'd never smiled at Max, like she was calm in her skin, relaxed. Max had never wanted to hit someone so badly in his life. He felt awful at the thought, sick with need. With what he couldn't have and shouldn't want in the first place. Liz took some money from her pocket and started to count it out onto the counter. She said something and the blond laughed.

 

Max turned his back on them. The way he was feeling then was why jealousy is a sin.

 

Liz said something and waved goodbye before she came out with a set of keys and tossed them his way. "I got him to forgo all the paper work. If anyone shows up because of the car, he doesn't know our names or have anything with our signatures and he doesn't have anything that belongs to us but the van."

 

Max nodded as he climbed into the driver's seat and watched Liz get in the other door. She bent her knees to the side and leaned against the door as they drove away. A song he'd never heard played softly over the radio as he broke their silence. "You're going to try and sleep," he asked, reaching for something to talk about.

 

"No."

 

"You're not tired?"

 

"Not really," she said, sounding for all the world like he was half asleep.

 

Max hadn't picked his words this carefully around her in a long time, not even when they'd first met, and Max was surprised by just how much her silence bothered him. She had never really been a talker, but now their silence felt forced rather than natural.

 

They drove down a deserted road, the sun at its highest point behind them and Max decided to speak his mind. If this wasn't the perfect time to start hashing this out, he couldn't think of a better one.

 

"You didn't pay for our room did you?" he finally asked, trying to keep his voice calm but he was sure she could still hear the anger he felt coming through.

 

"Max—" she started, sounding exhausted but he wouldn't let her brush him off this time.

 

"Tell me the truth."

 

"No," she admitted without an ounce of remorse. "We need that money. I already wasted too much of it buying this car. I wasn't going to waste anymore paying for the pleasure of staying in _that_ place."

 

And just like that, they went off like a bottle of something fizzy had been shaken up and someone just twisted the cap off.

 

"Liz!"

 

"It's a luxury, you know," she said accusingly. "Being able to choose to be good. And we can't afford it anymore. We've got no money, no time and—"

 

"You can't say that!—"

 

"— _completely_ idiotic to try and follow the rules when all they're going to do is hold us back!"

 

He shook his head purposefully. "That's not true, Liz. It never costs us more to do the right thing. You're soul—"

 

"I don't want to hear this," she said loudly, holding her hand up, palm out. "I don't want to hear anything about that!"

 

"Why did you leave last night?" he asked, suddenly getting to the heart of the matter. "Why did you do that?"

 

He watched from the corner of his eye as she tilted her head to the side and looked at him like he was an idiot. "Why do you think? I know you never got around much but there aren't too many options."

 

"That's not what I meant," he said with a grimace. "And you know it!"

 

"The real question is: why did you leave the room?" She asked. "You can't do that Max. You can't leave without me. There's too much—"

 

"I know but I was worried about you," he shot back. "What was I supposed to do when I came out and saw you were gone? You left the door wide open. Anything could've happened, Liz! You shouldn't have left like that—"

 

"All right," she yelled loudly, balling her fists so tightly her knuckles went white. "I shouldn't have left but you definitely shouldn't have followed me. "

 

"You really expected me to sit on my hands until you got back?"

 

"I expected you to follow my directions!"

 

"Well we have a problem then, Liz, because I told you last night that I'm not going to do that anymore and I meant it. I want to help you. I don't want you to have to do this alone!"

 

"I am alone," she replied without a hint of inflection. "And so are you. I think you're forgetting that we aren't friends, I'm not doing this out of the kindness of my heart. We're not on a road trip before college. I'm here because one of your kind," she charged, pointing a finger at him, "is forcing me to be! Because one of _you_ got inside of me and won't get out! We are not friends and we are not equals!"

 

He knew it was true, Larek had said as much, but Max was still hurt by what she said.

 

"You have to talk to me, Liz," he finally starts. "At least some of the time. You promised."

 

"I tried, Max. I tried to tell you what was happening and you wouldn't listen."

 

"Tell me now."

 

"What do you want to know," she asked lowly. "That I went to a bar, that I picked some guy up and fucked him?"

 

He looked out the windshield with a scowl. "Liz, you're the only one who cares about that. I've never—"

 

"You have no feelings about me fucking him?" He grimaced slightly at her choice of words. "Then what was that back there, huh?"

 

"Me getting you on track. We don't have time for you to flirt with some guy you'll never see again."

 

"So your interest is completely platonic?"

 

Max took a breath. They'd never, _ever_ , spoken about the bond he was sure they both felt and he wasn't sure he liked it coming up in this context. Max thought of how he'd felt closing the bathroom door at that hotel knowing what she was going to do just beyond it, about their time together in the institution, about the way he's caught himself looking at her but just because his thoughts weren't always friendly, that didn't mean his motivation wasn't pure. He could tell her the truth, he _should_ tell her the truth, but he knew if he admitted his attraction she'd never believe him.

 

He glanced over at her and lied. "Yes."

 

She smiled knowingly and shook her head. "Keep telling yourself that. It might come true one day."

 

"Not everything is about sex, Liz! I'm your friend. You can tell me anything. I want—"

 

She reached up to touch her temple while he spoke. "No you're not. You don't know what I—"

 

"—help you but you refuse—"

 

"Everyday!"

 

"—Tell me!" He begged. "Tell me what it is."

 

She bent her knees up in front of her like she needed something to hide behind. "Never in a million years did you think you'd end up with a girl like me." She said bitterly, vis-a-vis nothing, and he glanced at her for a moment. Her eyes were puffy as she rested her chin on her knees and he saw the girl from the institution: smart and piercing when she was lucid, erratic and angry when she wasn't. The girl who knew things no one believed, the girl who wasn't equipped to carry a secret so big on her own.

 

Then something inside of his brain clicked. Maybe that's why she kept bringing what happened back up, she was trying to deflect him. He wanted to pull over, to grab her forearms and make her believe him when he told her he was there. That he would take the extra weight she couldn't carry. Max's eyes narrowed. "There's something else isn't there? There's something you're not telling me."

 

She went on, as if he hadn't spoken at all. "You think I'm disgusting, right?"

 

Did she think that because of his beliefs? That he would condemn what she'd done because they didn't agree on certain things? If she did, Liz didn't know him as well as she thought. Max knew she was more of a victim in all this than he was. He couldn't blame her for taking whatever forms of escape she had available.

 

He shook his head, his jaw tight. "You could not be more wrong."

 

"Really? Because—"

 

Something huge slamming into the rear of the van cut whatever she was going to say short and flung them into the dash. His head snapped forward, hit the wheel with a sickening crack and turned his vision a pure, blinding white. Everything around him sounded like it was happening under the ocean, like it was hitting his ears after penetrating layers and layers of another substance.

 

For a moment, he was transported back to the white clapboard house he grew up in. To mornings before school when he'd shove his head beneath his pillow and his blanket to escape the shrill ring of his alarm, not yet ready to get up and start the day. It felt like years ago instead less than a month.

 

Max became aware of surroundings once again and realized the car was hurtling forward, he pulled his face up and grabbed hold of the wheel. His eyes flickered over to see Liz looking around groggily, one of her eyes filmed red with blood. He didn't know if it came from the cut above her eye or if she'd burst a blood vessel, but he was worried.

 

"Liz? Liz, are you okay?"

 

"What just—"

 

"I'm not sure." He reached toward her, their fight completely forgotten. "Come here—"

 

It seemed like she didn't hear him, though. Liz touched the cut on her face and stared at the blood on her hand with a strange look. Then she got up onto her knees and turned to look out of the back window. His eyes darted between her and the road and it didn't seem like she saw anything at first, then he watched as something began to come together in her mind, as her eyes widened and all of the color drained from her face.

 

"What do you see, Liz?"

 

Her mouth opened and closed before she started yelling something he could only make out every other word of.

 

"…Max… _oh God_ … No!"

 

"What!"

 

She hit his shoulder without looking away from whatever was behind them "You have to go. Go faster, Max! GO!"

 

He swallowed, his heart a deep thrum in the center of his chest, and didn't bother to try and look back. Just pressed the accelerator until it hit the floor.

 

"Liz," she didn't answer. "LIZ, WHAT IS IT?" he repeated and glanced from the road ahead of them to find her looking back. Her face more wide open and innocent than anything he'd ever seen. He was scared suddenly. More afraid than he'd ever been in his life.

 

"We're not going to make it," she whispered, just before whatever was behind them slammed into their back again and the bed of the truck flipped over, throwing them straight up into the air.


	15. Chapter 15

It happened too quickly for Liz to react.

 

The truck flipped once, throwing her forward and knocking their bags loose, then twice, blowing out the window behind their heads and tossing Liz to the roof of the truck. Her head narrowly missed connecting with the windshield as their car slid across the pavement. Sparks flying at the contact between metal and concrete, before coming to a screeching stop. She was shaking; her elbows and one deep cut above her left eye leaking blood but Liz ignored the pain and tried to focus on breathing.

 

It was coming, that _thing_ was right behind them.

 

There was a loud sound then, like something extremely heavy hitting the ground, and Liz watched as a small fissure opened up. It ran the length of the street toward them, disappeared beneath the car and reappeared on it’s other side.

 

She forced herself to take steady breaths. If she looked back, if she let herself remember what she’d seen before their car went flying, if she let herself realize that this was it. That this was the beginning of the end she would start screaming and never stop.

 

Liz had thought she knew what was coming. That she was hardened, that she was ready.

 

Seeing firsthand what was to come… She’d had no clue. 

 

The man who was supposed to stop all of this came to her mind then and that’s when she saw Max. He’d been wearing his seatbelt when they crashed and was still locked in, limply hanging from what was now the truck’s ceiling.

 

A deep cut followed the curve of his jaw, his face was flushed and even though his eyes were closed, she could see them bulging beneath the lids. Liz narrowed her gaze and looked him over. Something was wrong and it only took her a moment to figure out what it was.

 

the shoulder strap.

 

 It was cutting into his throat, blocking his airway and slowly smothering him. Liz crawled over quickly— _this is not how it was all going to end. She would not let him die like this_ —and grabbed him under his arms before releasing his seatbelt. He fell beside her awkwardly, his lower body making a loud enough noise when it hit the roof that she flinched, but his eyes had begun to flutter with awareness.

 

“Max?”

 

He groaned and reached up to touch the bruise at his throat before Liz caught his hand.

 

“Don’t touch. Come on.” She ordered quickly. Looking from side to side, trying to think of the best place for them to hide. “We have to get out of this car now. We have to get out before—“

 

She stopped short and he watched her groggily. She could see questions forming in his still vague eyes but this wasn’t the time to answer them.

 

“We can go into the woods and hide out. Maybe it’ll just… go away.”

 

She didn’t think either of them truly believed it’s _going away_ was actually an option but what else could she say? That they were going to die. That—even though they were supposed to save the world—she’d seen the enemy and she already knew how this would end?

 

The pungent scent of gasoline infiltrated her thoughts and kicked Liz’s instincts into high gear.  She couldn’t wallow on that anymore. “We’ll go into the woods, okay. This car is leaking and… something’s after us. We can’t sit here anymore.”

 

He agreed lethargically and she grabbed him under the arms to help him shimmy out of the passenger side window. They held their position for a breathless moment. Waiting to hear of it had caught up to them and checking for the perfect entry point into the thicket of trees before them: not too thin or they’d be spotted immediately, not too thick or they’d have to fight to get through and their struggles would bring attention they didn’t want.

 

Max was getting his energy back and started to hold more of his own weight. He raised his arm and pointed his finger to the left. “There.” She looked over then turned and met his determined gaze. Liz gave a short nod and held on tightly to his other arm.

 

“Ready?” She whispered. He took a deep breath and Liz took that as a yes.

 

They stood and sprinted across the road without taking the time to look around them. They couldn’t stop. They couldn’t let themselves see what they really up against. All they had to do at that moment was survive.  Their sneaker fell against the asphalt heavily, Max’s steps dragging slightly but he was beginning to outpace her as they slammed through the branches and undergrowth of their hiding spot.

 

Trees and brambles pulled at their clothes and hair, dragged across bare skin and called blood up to its surface. They kept running until her heart felt like it would explode, then she ran some more.  She looked over and saw a small out rock outcropping. It was lower than the floor of the forest and wold be a perfect place to stop.

 

Liz nudged him toward it and they ran forward, jumped into it as quickly as they could.

 

They stood still for what felt like a long time, but what must have been only minutes. Liz stared at the tips of her shoes and breathed as quietly as her body would allow her to. She leaned against the rocks at their back and let herself absorb some of its coolness.

 

“Liz?”

 

She kept her eyes closed for a moment longer, like—if she didn’t see him—she wouldn’t have to tell him what was happening. He was going to find out and soon. It didn’t make sense not to share this with him. Liz opened her eyes and let them meet his.

 

“What was it?”

 

She shook her head. “I think… I think this is the guy. I think this might be it.”

 

A heavy beat of quiet passed between them as her words sunk in and his eyes widened in understanding. “No. Shouldn’t we have,” he looked like he was doing some quick math in his head. “Like six months left?”

 

She shrugged, feeling helpless. “I don’t know. That’s what Larek said but—“

 

Max didn’t bother to let her finish. He made a move to leave her side and she grabbed him quickly. Surprised by how panicky she felt at the idea of him leaving her.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“I have to see, Liz.”

 

“No! You—“

 

The look on his face stopped her cold and she let the fabric of his shirt slip though her fingers. “I won’t let you do this anymore, Liz. I can’t hide behind you. I have to know.”

 

She stared at him before she stepped back and he pulled himself up and out of the outcropping they’d taken up residence in. She crouched down low, her elbows on her knees, and listened to the crunch of undergrowth fade as he moved farther away.

 

Liz closed her eyes and saw _It_ again: The sea colored, blue orb with pulsing, thick white veins running across its surface like a living thing, the electricity snapping across its surface. She dug the heels of her hands into her eyes until all she could see was white.

 

When she took her palms away and opened her eyes, Max was standing in front of her. She gasped and flinched, Liz hadn’t heard him come back and his sudden appearance surprised her. She was about to say as much when she stopped. His face… His face was empty. Completely devoid of every Max like emotion she had come to be simultaneously annoyed by and strangely protective of.

 

She wondered if that was how she looked to him just before their car flipped.

 

He dropped to his knees in front of her as if he couldn’t help it. Like they just couldn’t hold his weight anymore and she crawled toward him. Put her hands on his shoulders and pulled him into their first hug.

 

He was stiff in her arms. Trying to be strong but her touch broke him down. He slowly began to relax, wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. She got up on her knees so they were touching pelvis to shoulder and he took a deep breath, shoved his face against the side of her neck and squeezed her so tightly she could barely breathe but she didn’t move to push him away.

 

 _The thing_ after them had done what a kidnapping, weeks on the run, a carjacking, endless discussions and fights and months locked up in an asylum had been unable to. It connected them. It took this moment for Liz to believe, to really accept, Max as her partner.

 

It made her feel like she needed him as much as he needed her and that scared her almost as much as that thing out on the road.

 

The next words out of her mouth were a whisper.

 

“Larek can fight it.”

 

“What?”

 

She wanted to pull him closer, to let him hold her and to cry in his arms. He would let her, she was sure of it but they couldn’t stop. Not now. Not when everything had just been kicked into high gear.

 

She pulled her face away and met his gaze slowly. Voice flat and serious because they both knew what she said and what it meant.

 

“Larek can fight it.”

 

She expected him to fight her on it like he had when they’d first gone on the run. To try and search for another way but he doesn’t say anything for a moment. His eyes were darting around the forest floor but it didn’t seem like they ever lit on anything long enough to actually _see it_. “It’s the only way, isn’t it?”

 

Liz knew then that as much as _that thing_ behind them has changed her, it changed him too.

 

“Looks like it,” she responded flatly, steeling herself for what was to come. “You can’t control your powers well enough to go out there and I don’t think throwing rocks and sticks at it will make much of a difference.”

 

He let out a sharp bark of laughter that ended as quickly as it began and started taking deep breaths, running his hands up and down arms that had erupted in goose flesh despite the heat of the day. “How would we—“

 

“You’d have to help me—“

 

He shook his head quickly, that boy from the hospital making his swift return, as Max took an uncertain step back. “I—“

 

“ _Can’t_ better not be the next word out of your mouth!” Liz ordered quietly. “We don’t have time to discuss this and I can’t do it by myself!”

 

Max watched her warily and ran his hand through his hair. “How would I…”

 

Liz shrugged, cleared her throat and took a breath, knowing he wouldn’t like what she had to say next. “We don’t have many options out here—“

 

“I’m not hitting you,” he declared quickly, his voice too loud.

 

 

Liz pulled her shoulders inward, trying to make herself as small as possible, and glared at him. “Lower your voice!”

 

“I’m not hitting you,” he repeated through clenched teeth after looking over his shoulder and moving lower into their hiding place. “I just…”

 

“Okay,” she agreed quickly.

 

He shook his head and continued. “I can’t do that.”

 

“We’ll think of something else—“

 

“Like what?”

 

She looked around them. “A rock maybe?”

 

“ _Jesus_ ,” he muttered as his hand went up toward the center of his chest, the exact spot Liz knew the cross beneath his shirt would be.

 

“I know that sounds harsh but I don’t see what else—“ She stopped short as half forgotten conversations  they’d had right after he’d freed her forced themselves to the forefront of her mind.

 

“What?” He asked curiously. “What are you thinking?”

 

“Your powers…”

 

“You know I can’t control them,” he replied carefully.

 

“But you can sometimes, right? I saw what you did to Sam and you told me about how you can unlock doors and how you got into the hospital. It seems like, when there’s some pressure on you and you only have a small area to concentrate on, you can use them just fine.” She hesitates only a moment before going on. “You told me about what you did to Sean—”

 

“But I didn’t do that on purpose,” he cut in. “For all I know, Sean’s dead, Liz! You can’t expect me to—“

 

“I don’t think you killed him,” she said, feeling more secure in her belief as the words left her mouth. “It would’ve been on the news if he’d died.”

 

“You’re already hurt though,“ he replied, obviously surveying the many cuts and scrapes she’d received during their crash. Looking for a way out something that was becoming more and more set in stone.

 

“Not enough for him to take over.  For Larek to be able to…” she didn’t want to use the word _control_ , but it was the only descriptor that would fit so she didn’t say anything. “I have to be knocked out for this to work.”

 

“I—“

 

“The next word out of your mouth better not be _can’t_ ,” she repeated gently.

 

He watched her, his eyes soft, until she broke his gaze. “I don’t want to hurt you, Liz.”

 

“I know,” she replied and looked up again, putting her hand on his tentatively. “That’s why I trust you to help me.”

 

He didn’t want to, she could see it in every line of his body but she can’t do it for the both of them this time and she doesn’t want to, if she’s being honest with herself. His desire to be treated as her equal and Liz’s earlier acceptance of his new role in their relationship had been freeing in a way she’d never expected.

 

Everything wasn’t all on her now. She finally had someone to share her defeats as well as her glories. Liz got up onto her knees and took a deep, cleansing breath. “There’s no time to discuss this anymore, Max. Do you hear that?”

 

He didn’t seem to understand at first, but she saw the change in his face as he finally heard the quiet surrounding them. No birds were singing in the canopy above, no small animals rustled through the dried leaves beneath their feet.

 

The land around them should have been alive with the sounds of nature, but it was completely silent.

 

She didn’t say anything else after that, she didn’t have to. He understood what would happen to the both of them—to the _world_ —if that thing caught up.

 

His nod was almost imperceptive and she sighed in relief that he was finally giving in. She was about to turn away from him when he stopped her. “Can you sit flat?”

 

She didn’t understand what he was doing but she doesn’t fight him, just does as he asks, her legs straight out in front of her, and she watched curiously as he grasped her sneaker.

 

“I thought your shoes and socks might buffer…” he looks at a loss for a moment. “ _it_ a little and I don’t want to—.” He cut off mid sentence but she had already finished his thought.

 

“ _He wants to stay away from my brain and heart. If something goes wrong, he doesn’t want them to cook._ ” The realization came to her quickly and she had to force herself not to pull away from his grasp.

 

He held her gently—one hand on her tennis shoe, the other over the jeans at her ankle—and didn’t look up as he spoke. “You ready?”

 

“I’m ready,” she replied before she can think better of it.

 

Nothing happened at first, then she could feel heat—warm, slow pulses of it—lapping at her in dull waves. It didn’t hurt, not exactly, but it certainly wasn’t comfortable either. His power was startling, like static shock multiplied by a 100 and she knew this was probably only a small percent of what he was actually capable of doing.

 

“Okay,” he murmured under his breath, sweating bullets and speaking more to himself than to her but she nodded anyway, trying to ready herself as his hold tightened.  The second burst of heat from his palms warmed up faster and went hotter than the first, making her gasp in pain and turning the edges of her vision black. It felt like her blood was scorching in her veins.

 

Then something happened, some extra amp in his power and she could feel him, _Larek_ , there. He was a bright silver light on the edge of her quickly dwindling consciousness, a warm blanket on a cold night, a bottomless pit, ready to swallow her whole.


End file.
